Loss, Sadness, Ego, and Lessons Learned

It is with the most profound sadness that I inform you all that My beloved girl sorceress is no longer Mine. The sense of loss I feel is deep and consuming. It is very much as though a part of Me has gone with her. It is at times like this that I find it very difficult indeed to follow My own advice. There is nothing but tears, emptiness, a longing that can't be fulfilled. An empty collar and a broken lock. The emptiness all around silenty mocks Me.

sorceress was not released becasue she displeased Me, or dishonored Me, or anything of that nature. she begged her release because what she is can not be denied, and she could not continue as Mine as a result. I granted her release because I saw that too, and saw this moment coming. I love her too much to ever hold her back, and becasue what must be, must be.

And that's where ego comes in. I saw this coming, could feel it. But, even to the end I felt as though there was something I could do. I felt as though My power, My love, My insight, really could conquer all. I don't mind admitting that folly; a good Dominant needs a healthy ego (and then some). To be reminded of one's own limitations in the face of the motive force of the universe, i. e., things that must happen, doesn't diminish Me. In the end it will strengthen Me, and bring Me closer and more into harmony with that motive force.

As lessons go, the value will far outweigh the pain. As soon as I can stem the tears.

Thank you, sorceress, for all you did for Me, for all you tried to do, with all of you. For serving and pleasing Me so well and loving Me without fear, without question, without reservation. For embracing your slavery and plunging yourself into trying to learn and understand everything, even when you were provided with the merest hint of a hint as to what the thing to be learned was. For being a wondereful supportive loivng sister to storm and iris.

The magic in you shines -- and even through My tears I can acknowledge that it shines brighter than it did before we met, yes, because of Me and because of your deep love and devotion and submission. I have no doubt that that magic will shine brighter still as you make your way forward along the path that awaits you.

Thank you, from the bottom of My heart. I love you so much. Fly high and far.


"I wonder what she is doing at this hour
my Andean and sweet Rita
of reeds and wild cherry trees.
Now that this weariness chokes me, and blood dozes off
this lazy brandy inside me.

I wonder what she is doing with those hands
that in attitude of penitence
used to iron starchy whiteness
in the afternoons;
Now that the rain is taking away my desire to go on.

I wonder what has become of her skirt with lace
of her toils, of her walk;
of her scent of spring sugar cane from that place.

She must be at the door,
gazing at a fast-moving cloud.
A wild bird on the tile roof will let out a call;
And shivering she will say at last, "Jesus, it's cold!"

--Cesar Vallejo