Last week, I was talking to a girl and the subject got around to what had gone wrong between her and her former Mistress. One statement in her answer stuck with Me:
"i don't know -- She never seemed happy with me, was always displeased . . . "
That response got Me to thinking about how sometimes the smallest of things can have a huge impact. I don't know the girl's former Mistress, and I don't even know the girl all that well. What I do know of her is a polite, sweet, respectful girl. Not the sort of submissive with whom most Dommes would be "displeased" on a regular basis.
Now, perhaps the former Mistress had some very significant personal issues. Or maybe She simply lost sight of one of those simple things. In this case, one of the simplest of all: Being happy. And remembering to express that happiness.
D/s engages the emotions and the intellect, in numerous complex ways. As such it's easy to get caught up in that. And while that's often necessary -- a good Dom/me is always thinking, evaluating, considering -- it's just as necessary to stop and just take a deep breath and savor what it feels like to be the recipient of sincere submission and effort. We don't do it nearly often enough.
And, it feels to Me that We express that feeling to the other even more rarely. This is especially difficult because many submissives will not say that they need to hear it, because they are trying to be "good," or don't want to be perceived as overly needy. Thus the onus falls on the Dom/me to remember that the feedback, and not just the "corrective" feedback, is essential to the long-term emotional health of the submissive, and as a result to the health of the relationship as a whole.
It's so smiple . . . so almost corny, maybe, that We often let it slide. But so incredibly valuable. That very basic expression of One's overall happiness with the other: "you're a good girl (boy). you please Me well." Feeling it, expressing it, and hearing it, never gets old.
No comments:
Post a Comment