Breaking Away

I had a conversation last night with someone I hadn't seen much of lately, and had gotten to talk to even less.

As much as I strive to not care about people's motives, I admit I find it difficult not to wonder. And, well, I usually ask about things when I wonder. It saves Me a lot of energy, long-term.

So I asked her why she'd been staying away of late.

she told Me that she was attempting to break with her old patterns of behavior, and that familiar places tended to create familiar responses. she needed to be less "rooted" so that her explorations, her "new way," could really take hold.

her answer made Me sad because I miss her but I couldn't argue much with the logic. And yes, I realize that any expectations created by a familiar place are as much self-created as not, but for all that they are nonetheless real. And very difficult to break free of.

Thinking more about it this morning, I ended up feeling better about things. This girl is someone I'd had more than a couple of conversations with about what I consider "spiritual" matters, or rather, things of a practical nature that I assign in My thinking to the spiritual realm. And her way of going about things right now is an implementation of many of the ideas that she and I have discussed, (even if she isn't necessarily comfy in labeling them the way I do).

Not that I take credit for any epiphany on her part -- everything is a result of the accumulation of multiple influences and sources of information, and in any event I don't trust epiphanies as a rule. But it did feel good to see certain things I've been saying over a period of months borne out.

And most importantly she seems genuinely happier and more at ease. And she told Me that she will be around more as it gets gradually easier to embrace the new, more fluid, her.

I'm glad I asked.