An old story, exact origins unknown.
There was a man who was wandering the countryside, down on his luck. Penniless and illiterate, his prospects seemed dim. But he was a very clever man, despite his lack of formal education.
The man came to a small hamlet in a mountain valley. All of the residents of this town were, like the man, illiterate, but not nearly so clever. The man saw his opportunity.
He passed himself off as being educated and literate. The illiterate townspeople were thrilled and honored to have him in their midst. They came to him for advice, to settle disputes, to soak up his wisdom. Soon he was made mayor.
One hot summer day the man was making a speech to the populace in the town square. He had some sheets of paper with words printed on them in fornt of him, to make it appear that he was "reading" from a speech he had "written." The townspeople listened, rapt, to his insightful and wise oratory.
As luck would have it, though, this particular day there was a stranger passing through the town. This stranger, much to our hero's dismay, actually did know how to read. And the stranger noticed that the mayor's "speech" was upside-down on the podium!
The stranger exposed the mayor as a charlatan, telling the people, "Look! The paper's upside down! He's a fraud -- he's as illiterate as all of you!"
Now a less clever man would probably have ended up tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail. But our hero was no ordinary illiterate. Completely unfuffled, he scoffed in response, "If one knows how to read, why should it matter if the paper is upside down or right-side-up?"
The townspeople were once again enthralled with their mayor's intelligence and wisdom and immediately set upon the stranger and chased him from the town.
Loss, Sadness, Ego, and Lessons Learned
It is with the most profound sadness that I inform you all that My beloved girl sorceress is no longer Mine. The sense of loss I feel is deep and consuming. It is very much as though a part of Me has gone with her. It is at times like this that I find it very difficult indeed to follow My own advice. There is nothing but tears, emptiness, a longing that can't be fulfilled. An empty collar and a broken lock. The emptiness all around silenty mocks Me.
sorceress was not released becasue she displeased Me, or dishonored Me, or anything of that nature. she begged her release because what she is can not be denied, and she could not continue as Mine as a result. I granted her release because I saw that too, and saw this moment coming. I love her too much to ever hold her back, and becasue what must be, must be.
And that's where ego comes in. I saw this coming, could feel it. But, even to the end I felt as though there was something I could do. I felt as though My power, My love, My insight, really could conquer all. I don't mind admitting that folly; a good Dominant needs a healthy ego (and then some). To be reminded of one's own limitations in the face of the motive force of the universe, i. e., things that must happen, doesn't diminish Me. In the end it will strengthen Me, and bring Me closer and more into harmony with that motive force.
As lessons go, the value will far outweigh the pain. As soon as I can stem the tears.
Thank you, sorceress, for all you did for Me, for all you tried to do, with all of you. For serving and pleasing Me so well and loving Me without fear, without question, without reservation. For embracing your slavery and plunging yourself into trying to learn and understand everything, even when you were provided with the merest hint of a hint as to what the thing to be learned was. For being a wondereful supportive loivng sister to storm and iris.
The magic in you shines -- and even through My tears I can acknowledge that it shines brighter than it did before we met, yes, because of Me and because of your deep love and devotion and submission. I have no doubt that that magic will shine brighter still as you make your way forward along the path that awaits you.
Thank you, from the bottom of My heart. I love you so much. Fly high and far.
"I wonder what she is doing at this hour
my Andean and sweet Rita
of reeds and wild cherry trees.
Now that this weariness chokes me, and blood dozes off
this lazy brandy inside me.
I wonder what she is doing with those hands
that in attitude of penitence
used to iron starchy whiteness
in the afternoons;
Now that the rain is taking away my desire to go on.
I wonder what has become of her skirt with lace
of her toils, of her walk;
of her scent of spring sugar cane from that place.
She must be at the door,
gazing at a fast-moving cloud.
A wild bird on the tile roof will let out a call;
And shivering she will say at last, "Jesus, it's cold!"
--Cesar Vallejo
New Links
New links: Dirty Prom Queen . . . Cama De Casa (in Spanish) . . . Woman Rules Roost . . . Joyscape . . . Lazy Geisha
Just a reminder -- if you're linked to Me and I'm not linked to you, let Me know and I'll add a link to you.
Just a reminder -- if you're linked to Me and I'm not linked to you, let Me know and I'll add a link to you.
Spiritual Aspects, Part 7: Approaching The Unknown
I've been having trouble addressing this topic for a while now. I left off the series of Fully Exploring The Known posts by saying that "knowlege is independent of language." Well, that's great, but it by defintion doesn't leave much to write about. [Not that that will stop Me, of course.]
One way to apporach things that are very difficult to talk about becasue of the tautological nature of knowledge and human thought is to, for lack of a better word, "meditate" on certain thoughts, ideas, etc. Not with the goal of extracting "meaning" from them, necessarily, but to clear one's mind and just let the words wash over. Several times. One often finds that going forward, "meaning" presents itself, often much later, almost surreptitiously, when one is engaged in doing/thinking/talking about something else entirely.
There is no way to explain what I refer to as The Unknown. By its very nature it is opaque to rational explanation. It can be experienced and described, but only in its effects, not in its underlying nature. In some ways it is like the best poetry in that regard -- if can affect us in startling, inexplicable ways. So it seems appropriate for the first meditation to be on one of My favorite passages from poetry.
One way to apporach things that are very difficult to talk about becasue of the tautological nature of knowledge and human thought is to, for lack of a better word, "meditate" on certain thoughts, ideas, etc. Not with the goal of extracting "meaning" from them, necessarily, but to clear one's mind and just let the words wash over. Several times. One often finds that going forward, "meaning" presents itself, often much later, almost surreptitiously, when one is engaged in doing/thinking/talking about something else entirely.
There is no way to explain what I refer to as The Unknown. By its very nature it is opaque to rational explanation. It can be experienced and described, but only in its effects, not in its underlying nature. In some ways it is like the best poetry in that regard -- if can affect us in startling, inexplicable ways. So it seems appropriate for the first meditation to be on one of My favorite passages from poetry.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
--From "Four Quartets" by T. S. Eliot
What Is Kink?
I've seen over the past few months a number of posts on the above question in many different blogs.
I certainly can't answer it in any definitive, satisfying way. But others, sometimes without meaning to, might have shed some light on it.
"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken." --Old Joke
"I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [hardcore pornogrpahy] and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it." --Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart
"Hipness is -- What it is!
Sometimes hipness is, what it ain't." --Tower of Power, "What is Hip?"
"We classify anything that isn't quite regular hardcore or softcore, and isn't already classed under Bondage content, as being 'kink' content. Examples of such might be a foot fetish title, or a Urination title, or anything that focuses on a sub-set interest." -- www.weblegal.com
"Call me kinky, I don't mind. I AM kinky -- if you mean different from the lie we're sold as the norm. At 42, I'm celebrating a quarter century of making love with many different people, many different ways." --Loraine Hutchins
"Kink is a term used to refer to unconventional sexual practices such as bondage, domination and submission, and sadomasochism (known collectively as BDSM), and sexual fetishism." --Wikipedia
"Sex and kink are like apple pie and ice-cream. They taste good separately, but they taste even better together." --girlphoria.com
"I'm a man - I'm a goddess
I'm a man - I'm a hooker
I'm a man - I'm a blue movie
I'm a man - I'm a slut
I'm a man - I'm YOUR babe
I'm a man - I'm a dream divine . . . " --Berlin, "Sex"
"Whip me! Beat me! make me write bad checks!" --Old joke
"Lindsey Butler - 'How could anyone have sex on a stick? It sounds so painful.'
Lydia Hu - 'I dunno, but in Minnesota, everything is on a stick.' " -- from Lindsey's funny quotes from college(2003-2004)
Glad I could clear this up for everyone. :)
I certainly can't answer it in any definitive, satisfying way. But others, sometimes without meaning to, might have shed some light on it.
"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken." --Old Joke
"I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [hardcore pornogrpahy] and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it." --Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart
"Hipness is -- What it is!
Sometimes hipness is, what it ain't." --Tower of Power, "What is Hip?"
"We classify anything that isn't quite regular hardcore or softcore, and isn't already classed under Bondage content, as being 'kink' content. Examples of such might be a foot fetish title, or a Urination title, or anything that focuses on a sub-set interest." -- www.weblegal.com
"Call me kinky, I don't mind. I AM kinky -- if you mean different from the lie we're sold as the norm. At 42, I'm celebrating a quarter century of making love with many different people, many different ways." --Loraine Hutchins
"Kink is a term used to refer to unconventional sexual practices such as bondage, domination and submission, and sadomasochism (known collectively as BDSM), and sexual fetishism." --Wikipedia
"Sex and kink are like apple pie and ice-cream. They taste good separately, but they taste even better together." --girlphoria.com
"I'm a man - I'm a goddess
I'm a man - I'm a hooker
I'm a man - I'm a blue movie
I'm a man - I'm a slut
I'm a man - I'm YOUR babe
I'm a man - I'm a dream divine . . . " --Berlin, "Sex"
"Whip me! Beat me! make me write bad checks!" --Old joke
"Lindsey Butler - 'How could anyone have sex on a stick? It sounds so painful.'
Lydia Hu - 'I dunno, but in Minnesota, everything is on a stick.' " -- from Lindsey's funny quotes from college(2003-2004)
Glad I could clear this up for everyone. :)
Purple Sparks
freya, in her excellent blog, recently posted the following:
" . . . I subscribe to several sites that do writing prompts of either words or longer ideas, questions, etc. Today's writing prompt - "write about the color of hunger"
freya goes on to write about what the color of hunger is, for her -- and as always, she writes really well about sex and desire. The woman could probably wirte a grocery list that would be thrillingly erotic. (Not a challenge, freya, but feel free to try LOL.)
And that phrase got Me thinking on what the color of hunger is for Me -- and it didn't take long for the answer to emerge.
Hunger is purple. Not a wimpy, pinky purple, but a deep rich involving purple. Purple is the color of sacrifice. It oozes out out of My girls like purple blood -- it isn't sexual, per se, although desire is a big part of it. It's the hunger of them to serve, to please, to be and to do and to give everything to Me, to sacrifice. And it shines and shimmers in Me, when I feel it from them, it ignites the magic between us and everything is filled with purple sparks; the air crackles with the force of it when I reach inside that purple mass and rip out everything I want. And the softer purple glow that fills everything in the aftermath . . . the low humm where contentment at having served (and having been served) well mixed with the knowledge that there is always more to be taken (and to take).
Thanks, freya, for a wonderful inspiration today.
" . . . I subscribe to several sites that do writing prompts of either words or longer ideas, questions, etc. Today's writing prompt - "write about the color of hunger"
freya goes on to write about what the color of hunger is, for her -- and as always, she writes really well about sex and desire. The woman could probably wirte a grocery list that would be thrillingly erotic. (Not a challenge, freya, but feel free to try LOL.)
And that phrase got Me thinking on what the color of hunger is for Me -- and it didn't take long for the answer to emerge.
Hunger is purple. Not a wimpy, pinky purple, but a deep rich involving purple. Purple is the color of sacrifice. It oozes out out of My girls like purple blood -- it isn't sexual, per se, although desire is a big part of it. It's the hunger of them to serve, to please, to be and to do and to give everything to Me, to sacrifice. And it shines and shimmers in Me, when I feel it from them, it ignites the magic between us and everything is filled with purple sparks; the air crackles with the force of it when I reach inside that purple mass and rip out everything I want. And the softer purple glow that fills everything in the aftermath . . . the low humm where contentment at having served (and having been served) well mixed with the knowledge that there is always more to be taken (and to take).
Thanks, freya, for a wonderful inspiration today.
All Part of the Inventory
Today was a generally crummy day. Work was long, busy, frustrating. I felt tired from the moment I got there and things simply drifted downhill from there. Everyone and everything seemed to annoy Me, for no particularly good reason.
Finally getting home didn't improve My mood much. There was nothing I felt like eating. Blogger was moving very slowly (it took about ten tries to load this page).
It's the sort of day where the ultimate end of it, one's head laying on the pillow and abandoning everything to the respite of sleep, seems like the best and only improvement.
But of course it's only 7PM, and though I could probably force Myself to sleep now, doing so would be disastrous -- I'd be wide awake at 2:30AM and that would turn tomorrow into a nightmare.
Sitting here, the Orville Reddenbacher lookailke on TV droning on in the background about eharmony's 1,392 dimensions of compatibility or whatever it is, I get to thinking about bad days, and how they have their place. In the inventory of life, the simple cliched truth is that days like today when taken as part of the mass, help form the baseline of life. The baseline from which the great days, the moments of elation, the absolutely fantastic parts of life, spring up and stand out. And that very amplitude above the baseline is a big part of what makes the great days great.
So in the end it's a day to file away under "crummy," close the drawer and smile. Another bad day bites the dust. My overall odds have improved by a tiny bit going forward. Cool.
Finally getting home didn't improve My mood much. There was nothing I felt like eating. Blogger was moving very slowly (it took about ten tries to load this page).
It's the sort of day where the ultimate end of it, one's head laying on the pillow and abandoning everything to the respite of sleep, seems like the best and only improvement.
But of course it's only 7PM, and though I could probably force Myself to sleep now, doing so would be disastrous -- I'd be wide awake at 2:30AM and that would turn tomorrow into a nightmare.
Sitting here, the Orville Reddenbacher lookailke on TV droning on in the background about eharmony's 1,392 dimensions of compatibility or whatever it is, I get to thinking about bad days, and how they have their place. In the inventory of life, the simple cliched truth is that days like today when taken as part of the mass, help form the baseline of life. The baseline from which the great days, the moments of elation, the absolutely fantastic parts of life, spring up and stand out. And that very amplitude above the baseline is a big part of what makes the great days great.
So in the end it's a day to file away under "crummy," close the drawer and smile. Another bad day bites the dust. My overall odds have improved by a tiny bit going forward. Cool.
What's Left Behind (Part 2)
One of My little conundra that I frequently annoy the girls (and others) with goes as follows:
We are what we let go of, not what we hold onto.
I was thinking about this in light of My previous post, in which I talked about how some people leave D/s behind, sometimes permanently. And right in that word "permanently" is the crux of the matter, and the "proof" of the seemingly nonsensical statement above.
It's our nature to cling. Physically, emotionally, mentally. We cling to people, to things, and to ideas. We cling to the past -- sometimes perversely the worse it was the more we cling to it. And perhaps more than anything else we cling to our own idea of ourselves, and again from what I often see the worse that self-image is the more tenaciously it's clung to.
Where it gets very contorted is that we've lost perspective on the fact that that idea of ourselves is largely the accumulation and processing of the perceptions, thoughts, words, and judgments of others. What we have come to think that we are turns out to be largely "foreign matter" that's become part of "us" -- part of what I've called "the shell" in My posts about Fully Exploring the Known (see the April archives page).
Thus what I see as a large part of success in personal terms, both in daily life and in D/s, has to do with moving from the orientation of holding on to the orientation of letting go. The struggle is to identify what's become a part of us that never belonged there, and to slowly, systematically evaluate it -- possibly with the goal of eradicating it. But it turns out that realizing that foreign matter in the shell for what it is deprives it of its power anyway, so eradicating it becomes a moot point, often.
That is what I mean when I say that we are what we let go of, not what we hold on to. A recognition that the change in orientation needs to take place and a committment to that process.
So what's all that got to do with why people leave D/s and their reasons for doing so? A few things.
1. There is the "surface" issue, the "society" thing. D/s is not a mainstream pursuit -- there is, as cliched as it is, societal disapproval by and large and the emotional baggage that accompanies that. It's not to be dismissed as a factor that makes D/s more stressful than it otherwise should be. And "stress" is, in essence, a massive infestation of foreign matter into the shell. It makes us question our choices, our path, and usually not in a good way. The pressure of being "closeted," as it were, is more than many people can take. For others, the stress of being "open" is even worse. In times of stress we will cling more to the familiar, the stuff that feels like "us," even when it will go against what we know we want/need. It takes a "letting go" on a massive scale in order to minimize that kind of stress.
2. There are at times overridingly important realities. Age, children, work, health, safety, etc. At times there is a strictly practical choice, a sacrifice, that needs to be made. It's a cruel reality that we sometimes are forced to choose between what we are and what we have to be. That choice is above and beyond this discussion, except that I'll simply point out that it's important to be sure that one is choosing based on absolute necessities and not making the convenient, less painful in the short term, choice.
3. The pain that I've seen in people who've left D/s is not from having let go of D/s, it's from clinging to the idea that D/s was something they could get along without. Many people, and again this is part #1, above, actually do think that they are involved in a pursuit that is "perverted," abnormal. (And not in the kinky fun way). Decades of parents and teachers and preachers and talk-show idiots and sensationalized media have warped our ideas of sex and interpersonal relations to a degree that I'm amazed at the number of people who actually feel good about what they are. It's so easy to revert, to cling back to what will "work," even though in the long run that ends up hurting a lot more.
We truly are what we let go of, because only by letting go of what doesn't belong can we see and understand exactly those few things that we should, above all else, hold onto.
We are what we let go of, not what we hold onto.
I was thinking about this in light of My previous post, in which I talked about how some people leave D/s behind, sometimes permanently. And right in that word "permanently" is the crux of the matter, and the "proof" of the seemingly nonsensical statement above.
It's our nature to cling. Physically, emotionally, mentally. We cling to people, to things, and to ideas. We cling to the past -- sometimes perversely the worse it was the more we cling to it. And perhaps more than anything else we cling to our own idea of ourselves, and again from what I often see the worse that self-image is the more tenaciously it's clung to.
Where it gets very contorted is that we've lost perspective on the fact that that idea of ourselves is largely the accumulation and processing of the perceptions, thoughts, words, and judgments of others. What we have come to think that we are turns out to be largely "foreign matter" that's become part of "us" -- part of what I've called "the shell" in My posts about Fully Exploring the Known (see the April archives page).
Thus what I see as a large part of success in personal terms, both in daily life and in D/s, has to do with moving from the orientation of holding on to the orientation of letting go. The struggle is to identify what's become a part of us that never belonged there, and to slowly, systematically evaluate it -- possibly with the goal of eradicating it. But it turns out that realizing that foreign matter in the shell for what it is deprives it of its power anyway, so eradicating it becomes a moot point, often.
That is what I mean when I say that we are what we let go of, not what we hold on to. A recognition that the change in orientation needs to take place and a committment to that process.
So what's all that got to do with why people leave D/s and their reasons for doing so? A few things.
1. There is the "surface" issue, the "society" thing. D/s is not a mainstream pursuit -- there is, as cliched as it is, societal disapproval by and large and the emotional baggage that accompanies that. It's not to be dismissed as a factor that makes D/s more stressful than it otherwise should be. And "stress" is, in essence, a massive infestation of foreign matter into the shell. It makes us question our choices, our path, and usually not in a good way. The pressure of being "closeted," as it were, is more than many people can take. For others, the stress of being "open" is even worse. In times of stress we will cling more to the familiar, the stuff that feels like "us," even when it will go against what we know we want/need. It takes a "letting go" on a massive scale in order to minimize that kind of stress.
2. There are at times overridingly important realities. Age, children, work, health, safety, etc. At times there is a strictly practical choice, a sacrifice, that needs to be made. It's a cruel reality that we sometimes are forced to choose between what we are and what we have to be. That choice is above and beyond this discussion, except that I'll simply point out that it's important to be sure that one is choosing based on absolute necessities and not making the convenient, less painful in the short term, choice.
3. The pain that I've seen in people who've left D/s is not from having let go of D/s, it's from clinging to the idea that D/s was something they could get along without. Many people, and again this is part #1, above, actually do think that they are involved in a pursuit that is "perverted," abnormal. (And not in the kinky fun way). Decades of parents and teachers and preachers and talk-show idiots and sensationalized media have warped our ideas of sex and interpersonal relations to a degree that I'm amazed at the number of people who actually feel good about what they are. It's so easy to revert, to cling back to what will "work," even though in the long run that ends up hurting a lot more.
We truly are what we let go of, because only by letting go of what doesn't belong can we see and understand exactly those few things that we should, above all else, hold onto.
What's Left Behind (Part 1)
New links: Vivienne's Sex Carnival . . . Spanking Blog . . . Cease Resistance: Spanking Ree
I've been a little remiss in adding links . . . sometimes the blog housekeeping, like any kind of housekeeping, falls behind. I think I'm caught up now.
There's a great scene towards the end of Annie Hall where Woody Allen is walking around the streets of Manhattan, musing about the end of his relationship with Annie, and on love and relationships in general. He relates an old joke in the process:
Patient: Doctor, I need help. My brother thinks he's a chicken!
Psychiatrist: How long has he thought this?
Patient: About 10 years.
Psychiatrist: And you're just coming to me now?
Patient: Well, we need the eggs.
Allen goes on to say how that joke sort of sums up relationships -- they're crazy and often painful but we keep at them becasue well, we "need the eggs."
It's lke that in D/s, too. And, as with seemingly everything else in this sphere, things are stronger, deeper, more intense. I have known a few (a very few) who've gone back to being vanilla after having been involved in D/s. From what I can tell, even for those who are "happy" in that arena, there is an esssential thing that's missing. And it's not a good sex life, or at least, not a sex life. The thing that's missing is the emotional/mental charge, the soul-filling thing that responding on a more or less constant basis to a need that is beyond sex, beyond emotion, beyond thought, creates in us. The thing that can't truly be explained to someone who doesn't feel similarly, even if rationally one can give another the flavor of it.
One can take a vacation from it. And for many that is often a necessary thing. One can . . . be "less" intense in it, from time to time. One can even leave it behind, and heaven knows there are times when that might seem appealing to many. But one can't leave it behind without leaving behind a part of one's self that, in the end, needs to be there.
"I wanted only to try to live my life in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?" -Hermann Hesse, "Damien"
I've been a little remiss in adding links . . . sometimes the blog housekeeping, like any kind of housekeeping, falls behind. I think I'm caught up now.
There's a great scene towards the end of Annie Hall where Woody Allen is walking around the streets of Manhattan, musing about the end of his relationship with Annie, and on love and relationships in general. He relates an old joke in the process:
Patient: Doctor, I need help. My brother thinks he's a chicken!
Psychiatrist: How long has he thought this?
Patient: About 10 years.
Psychiatrist: And you're just coming to me now?
Patient: Well, we need the eggs.
Allen goes on to say how that joke sort of sums up relationships -- they're crazy and often painful but we keep at them becasue well, we "need the eggs."
It's lke that in D/s, too. And, as with seemingly everything else in this sphere, things are stronger, deeper, more intense. I have known a few (a very few) who've gone back to being vanilla after having been involved in D/s. From what I can tell, even for those who are "happy" in that arena, there is an esssential thing that's missing. And it's not a good sex life, or at least, not a sex life. The thing that's missing is the emotional/mental charge, the soul-filling thing that responding on a more or less constant basis to a need that is beyond sex, beyond emotion, beyond thought, creates in us. The thing that can't truly be explained to someone who doesn't feel similarly, even if rationally one can give another the flavor of it.
One can take a vacation from it. And for many that is often a necessary thing. One can . . . be "less" intense in it, from time to time. One can even leave it behind, and heaven knows there are times when that might seem appealing to many. But one can't leave it behind without leaving behind a part of one's self that, in the end, needs to be there.
"I wanted only to try to live my life in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?" -Hermann Hesse, "Damien"
It's a Wonderful Life
Wow, almost a week since I last posted.
Nothing's wrong, per se . . . My wrist is still bothering Me a bit so I've been trying to eliminate some of the "extra" typing. In addition to that there haven't been a wealth of topics that I've felt strongly enough about to post on.
So it's a good time to talk about life stuff.
Which, I'd sad to say, is singularly unexciting. I do get envious at times, reading some blogs: "Wow, what a night! The plane from Monaco landed, and I went directly to the play party at Chez Flogger, then to the after-play play party at M's dungeon, and rolled in around 4AM barely remembering my own name. Woke up at noon still surrounded by 12 horny subs so started all over again . . . "
I don't even care if a lot of it's made-up. It's fun to read about!
Alas, that's not My life. . . . Mine is more like: "Sat in traffic for 40 minutes on the way home from work. Was too tired to think about cooking so stopped at KFC to grab some dinner. I think My left rear tire pressure is a little low. The person in line in front of Me smelled faintly of diesel fuel."
And so it goes. Work is good, if pretty hectic these days. The girls are wonderful, as always; My only issue there is that I never feel I have enough time to spend with them, collectively, and especially individually. As often happens in the Northeast, we seem to have gone from proto-spring directly into summer -- it's hot here. But I'm not complaining; when it was February I couldn't wait for May.
Hope everyone's doing well and at peace with things, both the good and the not-so-good. Everything, (like not having much of import to blog about) happens for a reason.
More soon. Kisses and hugs to all the usual suspects.
Communication: Mis-, and Otherwise
Was reading rivka's latest post and in it she talks about going through a period with her Master lately where miscommuncation seems rampant, constant. I know how that is; I think everyone who's ever been in any D/s relationship knows how it is, and understands how frustrating and painful it can be.
I do wish I had the magic answer, for My own sake as much as for everyone else's. But of course there is none; since miscommunication results from an errenous assumption on one or both parts it's almost impossible to know about beforehand. The erreneous assumptions only come to light (usually) after there's been a blow-up. In the eventually calm discussion that follows, finally both parties understand that what they thought was not what was being said/understood.
So no magic answer. But a few observations:
1. I personally put more onus on the Dominant in making sure that there are no miscommuncations. Since the Dominant controls the agenda, S/he the greater opportunity and responsibility for avoiding errors in understanding.
2. Both parties have to shed any lazy thought process and be sure that they have not only thought "what if?" but have voiced it, and heard and understood the reply. Assumptions typcially are an enticing mental shortcut. I takes a measure of discipline and training on both parts to avoid filling in the blanks prematurely.
3. rivka asked, "Would a good sub/slave never question her Master's motives?" I'd phrase it another way. Motives? No. If you are questioining the Dom/me's motives, then you are probably with the wrong Dom/me. The submissive however, can and should ask about behavior, actions, strategy, and tactics. But the converse is that the Dom/me should recognize when the questions are of a nature concerning "mundane" things: clarifications of rules, basic expectations, etc., and be prepared to answer fully and take the time to make sure that no uncertainty remains.
4. When all else fails, one has to fall back one what one knows of the O/other. If something seems uncharactertic of the person, it's almost always a case of corssed signals somewhere. Stop. Breathe. Remember that. And start the calm conversation before the blow-up.
I do wish I had the magic answer, for My own sake as much as for everyone else's. But of course there is none; since miscommunication results from an errenous assumption on one or both parts it's almost impossible to know about beforehand. The erreneous assumptions only come to light (usually) after there's been a blow-up. In the eventually calm discussion that follows, finally both parties understand that what they thought was not what was being said/understood.
So no magic answer. But a few observations:
1. I personally put more onus on the Dominant in making sure that there are no miscommuncations. Since the Dominant controls the agenda, S/he the greater opportunity and responsibility for avoiding errors in understanding.
2. Both parties have to shed any lazy thought process and be sure that they have not only thought "what if?" but have voiced it, and heard and understood the reply. Assumptions typcially are an enticing mental shortcut. I takes a measure of discipline and training on both parts to avoid filling in the blanks prematurely.
3. rivka asked, "Would a good sub/slave never question her Master's motives?" I'd phrase it another way. Motives? No. If you are questioining the Dom/me's motives, then you are probably with the wrong Dom/me. The submissive however, can and should ask about behavior, actions, strategy, and tactics. But the converse is that the Dom/me should
4. When all else fails, one has to fall back one what one knows of the O/other. If something seems uncharactertic of the person, it's almost always a case of corssed signals somewhere. Stop. Breathe. Remember that. And start the calm conversation before the blow-up.
Odds and ends
No pressing topic to post on today.
1. New link: Designing Intimacy.
2. Comment moderation. I haven't wanted to turn this on -- I know how much I hate typing those dumb letters in -- but this morning there 38 new comments on various posts here, all of them apparently auto-generated. I haven't deleted them becasue they were all positive LOL. But I will have to turn on moderation if it continues to happen.
1. New link: Designing Intimacy.
2. Comment moderation. I haven't wanted to turn this on -- I know how much I hate typing those dumb letters in -- but this morning there 38 new comments on various posts here, all of them apparently auto-generated. I haven't deleted them becasue they were all positive LOL. But I will have to turn on moderation if it continues to happen.
Feeling . . . Great
Moods. I get them. I don't write about them a lot. But I'm as moody as the next Domme. Well, maybe not that moody but you get the idea.It so happens that today I'm in a great mood. I feel, well . . . like Me. I sometimes forget to stop and realize that's a great way to feel.
Time to go enjoy said wonderful mood.
It's All Bouncing Around in There, Somewhere
I was just reading a blog and the girl who writes it talks about messing up a task she was given to perform. (I won't say which blog/post, as I normally would, as it's My policy not to offer a direct opinion on how Another handles His or Her subs unless asked (especially when I am possessed of lmited informatoin), and My comments here could be constued as doing that if I identified the parties I was referring to. The blog post in question is simply a jumping-off point for Me to discuss what I feel are important themes. Whew. End of disclaimer.)
The girl in question, while feeling bad about having messed up the task, is also confused, becasue the task was couched in such terms so as to make it seemingly in contradiction to other dicta her Master had previously issued.
Of course, only reading her side of the story, it's hard to know for sure. But assuming that her rendering/understanding of events is accurate, I can see from where her confusion springs. Essentially, she found herself in a place where performing the task, as she understood it in the light of her Master's statements, would put her in conflict with a preciously-stated wish/order of His.
And this points up a sometihng that happens often. As Dominants, We sometimes lose sight of the fact that by and large submissives remember everything We tell them. Even when We might not think they are listening, even when We think, or even know, that the totality of a given lesosn hasn't been absorbed, at the very least, in My experience, the words have at least been heard. And they are stored away in there somewhere. And while that is overall a good and desireable thing, it can bring to light unintended contradictions when more words are added to the mass as time goes on.
It reminds Me of a boss I use to have. When busniess was good, he would say things like "errors of action are better than errors of inaction," "make something happen," etc. When business was bad, he would say things like "you're not paid to think," and the like. I often found Myself almost completely paralyzed in that job, not knowing whether a trip to his office was going to be a pat on the back for taking the bull by the horns or a ream-out for overstepping My authority. (LOL as if MY authority could be "overstepped!" Ha!)
It happens all the time in D/s. We impart boatloads of information to our submismsives, both by what We say, how We say it, when We say it, etc. And it's all getting recorded, with varying degress of accuracy over time. And the submissive will attempt to act/follow based on the totality of what s/he's heard/absorbed. If the totality of all that is a mish-mash of apparently contradictory things, the submissive is going to be unhappy, the Dom/me is going to be unhappy, and there's going to be a lot of punishments handed out with not much real improvement seen.
So we're back to the three C's: Consistency, Communcation, and Care.
Consistency: The Dom/me's message and bearing should be as consistent as humanly possible. Know what Your way is, and work hard to articulate it clearly. Don't punish in anger; be Master/Mistress of Your own emotions first. Examine Your own statements and actions against the standard of consistency.
Communication: As clear as One might think One is being, the opprotunities for misunderstanding, especially in something as emotionally encomapssing as D/s, and laden with potenitally difficult concepts, are everywhere. Be on the lookout for all of these. And comunication obviously goes both ways -- it's important for the Dom/me to make sure that the submissive feels comfortable bringing things to Him or Her. Which is all about --
Care: A submissive is not a machine. s/he needs to be able to struggle, even to fail, and know that in the end it can be all right. Only the Dom/me can give the submissive that calm certainity of knowing it can be all right, that the journey proceeds with destination unchanged regardless of the occaisional sidestep or stumble.
The girl in question, while feeling bad about having messed up the task, is also confused, becasue the task was couched in such terms so as to make it seemingly in contradiction to other dicta her Master had previously issued.
Of course, only reading her side of the story, it's hard to know for sure. But assuming that her rendering/understanding of events is accurate, I can see from where her confusion springs. Essentially, she found herself in a place where performing the task, as she understood it in the light of her Master's statements, would put her in conflict with a preciously-stated wish/order of His.
And this points up a sometihng that happens often. As Dominants, We sometimes lose sight of the fact that by and large submissives remember everything We tell them. Even when We might not think they are listening, even when We think, or even know, that the totality of a given lesosn hasn't been absorbed, at the very least, in My experience, the words have at least been heard. And they are stored away in there somewhere. And while that is overall a good and desireable thing, it can bring to light unintended contradictions when more words are added to the mass as time goes on.
It reminds Me of a boss I use to have. When busniess was good, he would say things like "errors of action are better than errors of inaction," "make something happen," etc. When business was bad, he would say things like "you're not paid to think," and the like. I often found Myself almost completely paralyzed in that job, not knowing whether a trip to his office was going to be a pat on the back for taking the bull by the horns or a ream-out for overstepping My authority. (LOL as if MY authority could be "overstepped!" Ha!)
It happens all the time in D/s. We impart boatloads of information to our submismsives, both by what We say, how We say it, when We say it, etc. And it's all getting recorded, with varying degress of accuracy over time. And the submissive will attempt to act/follow based on the totality of what s/he's heard/absorbed. If the totality of all that is a mish-mash of apparently contradictory things, the submissive is going to be unhappy, the Dom/me is going to be unhappy, and there's going to be a lot of punishments handed out with not much real improvement seen.
So we're back to the three C's: Consistency, Communcation, and Care.
Consistency: The Dom/me's message and bearing should be as consistent as humanly possible. Know what Your way is, and work hard to articulate it clearly. Don't punish in anger; be Master/Mistress of Your own emotions first. Examine Your own statements and actions against the standard of consistency.
Communication: As clear as One might think One is being, the opprotunities for misunderstanding, especially in something as emotionally encomapssing as D/s, and laden with potenitally difficult concepts, are everywhere. Be on the lookout for all of these. And comunication obviously goes both ways -- it's important for the Dom/me to make sure that the submissive feels comfortable bringing things to Him or Her. Which is all about --
Care: A submissive is not a machine. s/he needs to be able to struggle, even to fail, and know that in the end it can be all right. Only the Dom/me can give the submissive that calm certainity of knowing it can be all right, that the journey proceeds with destination unchanged regardless of the occaisional sidestep or stumble.
More fun with sitemeter
The javascript version of sitemeter gives one all sorts of fun information about visitors to the blog.
One thing it does it show what people searched on to reach the blog if they came from a search page. Most of the time people who end up here by searching have entered a search term such as "submissive," "slave," etc.
Today, some unfortunate soul was obviously looking for recipe ideas and searched on "pot roast" and ended up here (thanks to a recent post of Mine entitled "You Can't Rush the Pot Roast"). Now, that post I like to think had some helpful information in it, but had nothing to do with pot roast, per se. Apologies to the "pot roast" searcher.
Another thing that sitemeter tells Me is what browser people use to access these pages. Those numbers are a bit interesting:
IE has about 73% of the traffic, Firefox about 18%. Nothing too surprising there, but I was shocked to see that 3% of the traffic comes from people still using Netscape. Who knew there was still even a Netscape browser?
Sitemeter also lets me know what operating system people use. The thing that struck Me there is that there Windows 98 still has a 4% share and the ultra-crappy Windows ME still has 2%. If those numbers are close to an accurate sampling of people's PCs out there, Microsoft is leaving a lot of money on the table. And a surprising (to Me) showing by Windows 2000 with 11%.
Geographically, 60% of My traffic comes from the US, 18% from the UK, 7% from Canada. Italy has 3%, the Netherlands andNorway, 2% each. Ireland, Indonesia, France, Spain, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium, Korea, and Indonesia 1% each.
New Link: Madeline in the Mirror. Worth checking out.
I admit there is a perverse glee in looking at the sitemeter results and finding a site linked to Mine that I didn't know about previously.
Happy weekend to all.
Crossed Signals
saratoga wrote about "context" in his most recent post. In this real-time Turkish bazaar of ideas, people are constantly opining, replying, dashing off compliments and bombs and every manner of verbal expression at a dizzying pace. Signals routinely get crossed; I'm haggling over the price of the brass elephant, but you're extolling the virtues of the Taj Mahal snow-gobe.
One would think that in real life it would be easier. But life, much as My cell phone company would like to disagree in their promos, is still basically "analog" when it comes to person on person.
So while the number of signals in real life can be less than here in networld, the richness (i. e., complexity) of them is proportionally greater. Thus the opportunities for crossed signals are just as great, and unfortunately, the implications are more serious since the stakes are generally much higher.
And in D/s, which in previous posts I've called a magnifying glass, the stakes are high indeed.
Both in saratoga's post (and in freya's reply to a post of Mine) an important idea is touched upon. Namely, that while we all somehow expect and understand that the submissive does not go into things fully formed, we often don't allow for the possibility that the Dom/me, as well, doesn't necessarily have everything figured out ahead of time.
This is a tricky area. The question naturally arises, "well, why should i submit to someone if they don't have it all figured out?" And it's a reasonable question, if we're talking about true submission, i. e., surrender. What the submissive gives up is real and valuable. Part of the joy of submission is the quiet constant certainty that the driver knows the way, as it were. Conversely, there is a haunting but very real feeling of dread that's created when one feels as though the driver really doesn't know the way, or even the destination.
The answer to Me lies in understanding that the Dominant should have a strategy. What the Dom/me will not necessarily have at every moment is the exact tactical steps that will be taken to achieve said strategy. It's a crucial difference. I call this the "process and details" thing. The Dom/me has a process. S/he articulates it, or parts of it, in line with His or Her wishes and the bent of His or Ner nature. But in any case the process is firmly fixed in mind. It is essentially immutable, since it expresses what the Dom/me wants, in some "ultimate" way. It is the refined vision of His or Her dominance, of what S/He wants in a submissive.
The details though are subject to adjustment based on a large number of variables. The good Dom/me is flexible, knowing that flexibiliy is stregnth, not weakness. There are always many ways to advance the process. At times, even the best Dom/me will have to try several or many different things until something works. S/he must be prepared to sometimes explain this, to admit mistakes, etc. It's tedious, often boring, sometimes even painful. But necessary.
The point being that while the submissive should expect his or her Owner to know the destination, s/he shouldn't expect Him or Her to know the name, population, and founding date of every little town on the route.
Once again, it's lame and boring to say, but it's true: More communication means less crossed signals.
One would think that in real life it would be easier. But life, much as My cell phone company would like to disagree in their promos, is still basically "analog" when it comes to person on person.
So while the number of signals in real life can be less than here in networld, the richness (i. e., complexity) of them is proportionally greater. Thus the opportunities for crossed signals are just as great, and unfortunately, the implications are more serious since the stakes are generally much higher.
And in D/s, which in previous posts I've called a magnifying glass, the stakes are high indeed.
Both in saratoga's post (and in freya's reply to a post of Mine) an important idea is touched upon. Namely, that while we all somehow expect and understand that the submissive does not go into things fully formed, we often don't allow for the possibility that the Dom/me, as well, doesn't necessarily have everything figured out ahead of time.
This is a tricky area. The question naturally arises, "well, why should i submit to someone if they don't have it all figured out?" And it's a reasonable question, if we're talking about true submission, i. e., surrender. What the submissive gives up is real and valuable. Part of the joy of submission is the quiet constant certainty that the driver knows the way, as it were. Conversely, there is a haunting but very real feeling of dread that's created when one feels as though the driver really doesn't know the way, or even the destination.
The answer to Me lies in understanding that the Dominant should have a strategy. What the Dom/me will not necessarily have at every moment is the exact tactical steps that will be taken to achieve said strategy. It's a crucial difference. I call this the "process and details" thing. The Dom/me has a process. S/he articulates it, or parts of it, in line with His or Her wishes and the bent of His or Ner nature. But in any case the process is firmly fixed in mind. It is essentially immutable, since it expresses what the Dom/me wants, in some "ultimate" way. It is the refined vision of His or Her dominance, of what S/He wants in a submissive.
The details though are subject to adjustment based on a large number of variables. The good Dom/me is flexible, knowing that flexibiliy is stregnth, not weakness. There are always many ways to advance the process. At times, even the best Dom/me will have to try several or many different things until something works. S/he must be prepared to sometimes explain this, to admit mistakes, etc. It's tedious, often boring, sometimes even painful. But necessary.
The point being that while the submissive should expect his or her Owner to know the destination, s/he shouldn't expect Him or Her to know the name, population, and founding date of every little town on the route.
Once again, it's lame and boring to say, but it's true: More communication means less crossed signals.
Stop Me Before I Think Again!
freya commented on My most recent post (that was inspired by a recent post of hers) that she "tends to overthink things."
It's an area where many submissives get hung up. The temptation is overwhleming at times -- D/s brings things out in a person that make the mind reel. But when the reeling subsides one's left with a huge load of stuff that one feels compelled to analyze.
And the smarter, the more thoughtful one is, the greater the temptation and the more involved and consuming the thinking/analyzing often become.
This isn't all bad of course. A certain amount of analysis/introspection is necessary; we can't learn certain things and correct certain mistakes without it. But introspection is like Vitamin A -- necessary for proper functioning but toxic in overly large doses.
What I've observed is this:
1. Excessive introspection thrives in a vacuum. We have a need to fill that space. And in this is the Dominant's role is key -- by communicating, actually often overcommunicating, the Dom/me can help the submissive stay focused on experiencing and doing what s/he knows to be right as opposed to dwelling on what-ifs, abstractions, and perceived issues.
2. Minimize the negative. When you do wrong, admit it to yourself, but don't wallow in that knowledge. For whatever reason, human beings seem programmed to more readily accept negative things about ourselves than positive or even neutral ones. If we could look at both compliments and slights, from without and from within as being equal, in that they are both simply things that are trying to stick to us, then perhaps they'd have an equal chance of doing so and a result we'd be a much more emotionally balanced and ultimately happy race.
3. Stop. Breathe. So often we race to the place of comfort inside. By "comfort" I mean the patterns of self-perception that's we've developed over a lifetime. A little pause. the proverbial counting to 10, works wonders. In that moment, there is the chance that the reality of statement #2 above can seep in a little bit. And as with everything, it can become a habit, just as one's usual way of reacting/processing has become.
4. Engage the mind and body in other things. Not just at the moment of pain/anger, but as an ongoing thing integrated into one's life. It doesn't matter what it is. Exercise, finger painting, Sodoku puzzles, reading a complicated essay, anything that is consuming will do. Mix them up if need be so that you stay interested/engaged. Use it break a mold. Be different from the "you" you're used to, simply by doing something on a regular basis you don't normally do. you may find that that "you" isn't so compelled to endlessly dwell on things.
5. "Render to Caesar . . . " There's a lot of things that one's Master/Mistress should deal with. Give those up, eagerly, joyfully. Dump them in His or Her lap, where they belong. And let them stay there.
6. When in doubt, simplify. Serve. Please. Obey. Refocus on performing the simplest tasks absolutely perfectly. The peaceful moments created by being able to do that are of more value than a mountain of introspection.
It's an area where many submissives get hung up. The temptation is overwhleming at times -- D/s brings things out in a person that make the mind reel. But when the reeling subsides one's left with a huge load of stuff that one feels compelled to analyze.
And the smarter, the more thoughtful one is, the greater the temptation and the more involved and consuming the thinking/analyzing often become.
This isn't all bad of course. A certain amount of analysis/introspection is necessary; we can't learn certain things and correct certain mistakes without it. But introspection is like Vitamin A -- necessary for proper functioning but toxic in overly large doses.
What I've observed is this:
1. Excessive introspection thrives in a vacuum. We have a need to fill that space. And in this is the Dominant's role is key -- by communicating, actually often overcommunicating, the Dom/me can help the submissive stay focused on experiencing and doing what s/he knows to be right as opposed to dwelling on what-ifs, abstractions, and perceived issues.
2. Minimize the negative. When you do wrong, admit it to yourself, but don't wallow in that knowledge. For whatever reason, human beings seem programmed to more readily accept negative things about ourselves than positive or even neutral ones. If we could look at both compliments and slights, from without and from within as being equal, in that they are both simply things that are trying to stick to us, then perhaps they'd have an equal chance of doing so and a result we'd be a much more emotionally balanced and ultimately happy race.
3. Stop. Breathe. So often we race to the place of comfort inside. By "comfort" I mean the patterns of self-perception that's we've developed over a lifetime. A little pause. the proverbial counting to 10, works wonders. In that moment, there is the chance that the reality of statement #2 above can seep in a little bit. And as with everything, it can become a habit, just as one's usual way of reacting/processing has become.
4. Engage the mind and body in other things. Not just at the moment of pain/anger, but as an ongoing thing integrated into one's life. It doesn't matter what it is. Exercise, finger painting, Sodoku puzzles, reading a complicated essay, anything that is consuming will do. Mix them up if need be so that you stay interested/engaged. Use it break a mold. Be different from the "you" you're used to, simply by doing something on a regular basis you don't normally do. you may find that that "you" isn't so compelled to endlessly dwell on things.
5. "Render to Caesar . . . " There's a lot of things that one's Master/Mistress should deal with. Give those up, eagerly, joyfully. Dump them in His or Her lap, where they belong. And let them stay there.
6. When in doubt, simplify. Serve. Please. Obey. Refocus on performing the simplest tasks absolutely perfectly. The peaceful moments created by being able to do that are of more value than a mountain of introspection.
You Can't Rush the Pot Roast
The following paragraph ends a recent post on freya's excellent blog:
"Later as he's fucking me, I simply let go. I say whatever comes up and bubbles from my throat. I feel what comes to me. I let go of context and let myself be. Funny that it took so long to find liberation in submission."
freya's last line stuck with Me. I've written before about how I see that submissoin is ultimately, and, (potentially) completely liberating.
And it does "take so long." It shouldn't be peculiar that it takes so long. But we are a results-oriented lot, and as such there's a tendancy to view everything but the perfect desired end result as inadequate, somehow empty, wrong.
Of course it just isn't so. We all move, in Dominance or submission, in response to a million variables and stimuli. The side-steps, the back steps, and even the running from the room screaming are all natural responses and arguably normal responses. And we end up where we end up, when we're supposed to end up there. And, very importantly, our understanding of "there" changes with time and experience.
I often say to My girls that submission is liberatiing, and I've said it maybe 1,832 times. When I said it the first time, they understood it. When I said it 10 months ago, they understood it, but in a totally different, deeper way. When I say it today, their understanding is deeper still. That rich understanding couldn't have happened two years ago, or last August, or three weeks ago. It's a function of the totality of time and process and their constant devoted efforts to understand. They are exactly where they should be in their understanding because they are where they have to be. It's sort of like an old axiom of project management: you can't have a baby in one month by recruiting nine women. There is no short route to the long haul.
Where I think many submissives (and their Owners) go wrong is in glossing over or even lamenting that fact rather than celebrating it. Again, I'm hammering on a favorite theme here, but it's so important: Focus on the process and the product will take care of itself. It happens so slowly, if done right, that one barely notices until one has the moment when something sparks us to look back, and the distance travelled is suddenly, readily apparent. Savor the process, the time invested, the way one savors the magic of pot roast: Time and some care transform a tough piece of meat in something magically flavorful and tender. And while the transformation and the final flavor are remarkable, one shouldn't overlook the wonderful aroma that slowly builds and permeates the house for hours while it's cooking and fires our hunger slowly, inexorably.
It takes a long time. And how wonderful it is that it does.
"Later as he's fucking me, I simply let go. I say whatever comes up and bubbles from my throat. I feel what comes to me. I let go of context and let myself be. Funny that it took so long to find liberation in submission."
freya's last line stuck with Me. I've written before about how I see that submissoin is ultimately, and, (potentially) completely liberating.
And it does "take so long." It shouldn't be peculiar that it takes so long. But we are a results-oriented lot, and as such there's a tendancy to view everything but the perfect desired end result as inadequate, somehow empty, wrong.
Of course it just isn't so. We all move, in Dominance or submission, in response to a million variables and stimuli. The side-steps, the back steps, and even the running from the room screaming are all natural responses and arguably normal responses. And we end up where we end up, when we're supposed to end up there. And, very importantly, our understanding of "there" changes with time and experience.
I often say to My girls that submission is liberatiing, and I've said it maybe 1,832 times. When I said it the first time, they understood it. When I said it 10 months ago, they understood it, but in a totally different, deeper way. When I say it today, their understanding is deeper still. That rich understanding couldn't have happened two years ago, or last August, or three weeks ago. It's a function of the totality of time and process and their constant devoted efforts to understand. They are exactly where they should be in their understanding because they are where they have to be. It's sort of like an old axiom of project management: you can't have a baby in one month by recruiting nine women. There is no short route to the long haul.
Where I think many submissives (and their Owners) go wrong is in glossing over or even lamenting that fact rather than celebrating it. Again, I'm hammering on a favorite theme here, but it's so important: Focus on the process and the product will take care of itself. It happens so slowly, if done right, that one barely notices until one has the moment when something sparks us to look back, and the distance travelled is suddenly, readily apparent. Savor the process, the time invested, the way one savors the magic of pot roast: Time and some care transform a tough piece of meat in something magically flavorful and tender. And while the transformation and the final flavor are remarkable, one shouldn't overlook the wonderful aroma that slowly builds and permeates the house for hours while it's cooking and fires our hunger slowly, inexorably.
It takes a long time. And how wonderful it is that it does.
Look What I Found Under the Seat Cushions!
I recently changed from the regular version of sitemeter to the javascript version. What I discovered, among other things, is a few sites that link to Mine that I didn't know about. Since I'm of the conviction that one good link deserves another, I've added them to My link list (over there ----> on the sidebar).
If you are linked to Me, and I'm not linked to you, let Me know via a comment or an e-mail and I'll return the favor (commercial sites excepted). I try to pick up all the links from sitemeter hits but I might have missed some, or no one's come here yet from your link to Me. Thanks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)