I happened to find Myself last week in the unenviable position of having to return something to a major chain store, without a receipt.
Not good. But I was going to be happy with store credit. It's not like I'm going to get all nuts and demand cash back when I no longer had had the receipt.
The cashier, upon learning that I had no receipt, summoned the second-demi-hemi-quasi-assistant manager over to deal with My non-standard transaction.
Things did not start off well. The managerial type, who I'll call Brutus, regarded Me with instant dislike and disdain. And I react to that sort of treatment . . . well you can most likely guess.
I am trying to return three items.
Item 1, I bought from their website, and thus can't return at the store. Wow, isn't that convenient?
Item 2, they claim isn't in their database. OK, maybe this is My error . . . I guess I didn't buy it there (I did, of course, but no point in arguing).
Item 3 they can't find a reason to deny the return of and My non-standard transaction is underway.
Well, sort of. Brutus asks for My driver's license and starts entering things into some other machine (not the register).
"What's that?" I ask.
"The Fraud Detection System," Brutus says, unhappier now, not looking up. "Every time there's a return without a receipt we have to run it through the Fraud Detection System."
"Oh," I say pleasantly. "And what is it all about?" I know exactly what it's all about but I'm going to make this self-important little bastard explain. In fabulous fucking detail.
"It checks to see how many returns have been done with this license . . . " Brutus says, more impatient, more annoyed, now.
"Ohhhhh, I see." I"m sounding very impressed by Brutus' grasp of high-tech security measures. "Over what period of time does it check?"
Brutus mumbles something unintelligible, and I stifle a laugh. Brutus has no idea what the answer is.
This goes on for a while and I'm being nice and making Brutus more and more miserable with each passing moment, when I realize how fucking long this is taking.
Finally, the Fraud Detection System has determined that I am not an Al-Qaida operative bringing Death To America by making a bogus return for $27.14 and the actual transaction can begin.
Which doesn't take too long. Brutus creates and authorizes the gift card, and hands it to Me, along with My license back. But he's handed the license back to Me upside-down.
"That's how they teach you to hand a license back in Manager's Training School?" Brutus hands Me back My license properly, no longer maintaining even the previous minimal effort to hide his contempt.
Thanks.
Bitch.
Leaving the store, I resolve to never ever shop there, or on their website again. And then I wonder. Is the Fraud Detection System really worth it? Plus it amounts to profiling, which is going at some point to get this store in some very hot water when the Fraud Detection System fingers the wrong person and the wrong person decides to make a big issue out of it.
You can tell Me that it's people, that My bad experience was caused more by Brutus' assholish behavior than by the Fraud Detection System. But you'd be only partially right. Yes, Brutus made it worse, but I had to stand there for 10 minutes while I was put through what amounts to a "guilty until proven innocent" procedure. And the nicest second-demi-hemi-quasi-assistant manager in the world isn't going to make that better. Throw in the "can't buy on-line and return at the store" policy and it's a done deal.
I am, and will remain, an ex-customer.
3 comments:
Totally understandable. I've btdt, as well.
Does it make you crazy that they don't, say, check your overall activity with them, to see if maybe they should just accept the returns in favor of keeping your substantial business?
These days, online merchandising being what it is, you could probably lodge a very effective email with the CEO's office, complete with location and Brutus' name.
-saratoga
You do what 90% of people do you just don't go back (nothing wrong with that). I worked in the hotel/resteraunt indusrty for over 10 years and most people will not complain they will just not go back. I raise high hell if they piss me off and don't fix it, but I'm a right royal bastard and like to complain. thats why I always vote.
And I echo saratogas comment, write an e-mail and complain. Put a Black mark in Brutus file he'll love it when his next review comes up.
And to add to what's been said, I'm just sorry you aren't telling all of us WHICH business establishment this is so we can join you in the "I won't shop there any longer" routine. It's that old adage -- one happy customer will tell someone else, but an unhappy customer will tell EVERYBODY else!
swan
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