When I am praised I tend to deflect the compliment. I have come to realize that some people find this vaguely insulting (as in I'm somehow devaluing their praise, and thus the praiser), but nothing could be further from the truth. I am highly appreciative of the praise. I simply can't allow Myself to unreservedly buy into it.
I have a saying I use . . . I no longer remember if it's original or not; if it's not, My apologies to the original author of it. My goal is to "not believe My own press clippings." Even if (especially if, actually) they are true.
This approach keeps Me balanced, sweet, and hungry. I don't lapse into arrogance or complacency because I keep telling Myself I still have light-years to go. I stay (mostly) nice because I know I don't know it all.
OK, so I sound pretty wonderful, right?
I'm no saint . . . I have My crappy moods, My insecurities, My petty concerns. But by trying to stay humble, and, this is the most important part, by really meaning it, I avoid a lot of the pitfalls that any kind of Dominant or leader can fall into. All leaders have a mask (a topic I wrote about a long time ago), but humility is not My mask -- it's real, and feels real. And necessary.
Which brings up the logical question: A humble Domme? Isn't that an oxymoron?
No. For the the following reasons.
1. One has to be what one is. Dominance comes naturally; learning humility doesn't diminish one's natural Dominant nature.
2. Humility enhances Dominance. This is fairly obvious -- power without control is one definition of evil. Humility provides the necessary restraint that enlightens Dominance and transforms it into real Leadership.
3. The Humble Domme has better submissives. We as Dominants end up with the subs/slaves We deserve. The Domme who knows what She doesn't know ends up with submissives who understand and appreciate the nuances of their role, and who respect Her for her Humanity as well as for Her power. To be served by that kind of submissive is an unparalleled joy.
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