Believing

I read a lot of blogs. I see at least some of the thoughts of many different people (all more or less in the very big tent that is sex/D-s/BDSM/spanko blogs).

And I read a lot of what could be construed as "cries for help."

I won't quote or link them here . . . anyone who reads enough blogs in this arena knows what I'm talking about.

Sometimes the cry for help is couched strongly in terms of "help is the last thing I need." The tone of these entries is basically "I'm fucked up and I like it."

Sometimes the cry for help is in the obliviousness of the author. S/he will describe hideously self-destructive behavior in a matter-of-fact, seemingly clueless, way. One reads it and feels as though the question "cry for help?" would be met with a sincere blank stare.

Sometimes the author understands quite readily that s/he needs help, but is resigned to being the way s/he is. Occasionally the author will post an entry where s/he allows a little glimpse into the real problem, the sadness and loneliness of his or her life, and then quickly and emphatically negates that in the next post, revelling in the fabulousness of it all.

There's a hundred different flavors. Reading it all, I end up at the same place, over and over: How much to believe?

Perhaps it's more of an issue for Me than for most people, because, on some deep level, I've come to realize that I want and need to believe that it's all true. Not because I want there to be actually be so many miserable people out there, but because I want (need) this place, the blogoshpere, to be about people reaching out, working their way through the issue(s) in their lives, with other people reading about it, caring, and offering through the anonymous distance of cyberspace their concern, their understanding . . .

My way of dealing with this is to act as though it is all true. There are a few cases where the blog author openly states that not everything presented is factual; those are obvious exceptions. But when people are writing about their lives, in the absence of any reason to not believe, I take it as the real thing.

Understand, I am not going around trying to "help people," at least not in the sense of suggesting they need help, or any other sort of intrusive or presumptuous action(s). I realize that what I read in someone's blog is at best part of the story, even if what's presented is 100% factual. If something I read makes Me think of a similar situation or experience, I offer My thoughts in the form of a comment or e-mail, in as unobtrusive a way as I can.

No, "believing" isn't for their benefit, directly . . . ultimately it's for Mine. Since it's what I need to believe it has value for Me in and of itself.

Before you start thinking that I'm a candidate for some professional help, let Me be clear. I understand completely that I might well be hopelessly deluded. My believing, My wanting to offer (mostly) silent support, My offering the brief word of encouragement here and there, etc., is Me offering Me, as I believe we all are.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I accept that. And being wrong will totally have been worth it.

KAHTATUS.