I'll start out by saying that I don't "get" sadism. That is, I derive no particular thrill from the infliction of pain in and of itself. But that said, pain play has a lot going for it in My mind, still.
Pain, for Me, is a gateway -- in those moments when the submissive is focused on taking all that she can, on taking as much as she thinks I want to give, something magical can happen. The submissive (and Me, by extension) can move beyond the here and now -- her into what some call "subspace" and Me into "Topspace," for lack of better words. At those moments, it can become a communion between Owner and owned that, as a true voyage into the unknown, is more encompassing, deeper, than seems rationally possible.
In terms I've used in earlier posts about the spiritual side of things, pain is, for Me, another way of "cracking the shell" . . . or opening it further. And as such its value can't be underestimated. Which tool(s) get used when is a function of the circumstance, time, and the individual personalities and quirks of the people involved.
Given that, a true pain slut is not going to find Me very satisfying. Once it becomes obvious to Me that the submissive is chasing her own singular desire ahead of the shared, guided goal, that's the end of the pain I'm dispensing (at least the physical kind). Note that I am not condemning anyone here -- we all need what we need and I support anyone's sane and considerate efforts to get that. Being with a pain slut makes Me feel like a ProDomme, and that's something I'd rather not feel like (especially for free! :) )
I should also differentiate punishment from pain play. A number of spanking-oriented blogs seem to use the terms interchangibly. That's understandable, given the orientation of those blogs. But for Me, the two are inherently different:
Pain Play is 1) the discretionary use of pain by Me as a means to addressing the deeper connection between Owner and owned, or 2) serves a non-corrective "educational" purpose.
Punishment is the direct expression of My displeasure. It involves pain but there is no "pleasure" involved in the dispensing or receiving of it.
I think My girls can attest that it's unmistakeable which is which, when. (I should add that I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to punish them.)
More another time.
2 comments:
Very well put, Leonora. I have had a couple of experiences where a sub has zoned out on me before I've even started to "play" with him. I find that most annoying and pretty disrespectful. I had to bring him down and work him back up again - with a warning that such bad manners would not be tolerated in the future. As if!
Once again, You have it right on. Thank You, always, for Your thoughts and wisdom.
~this girl
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