The Proper Way to Link-Whore

A look at sitemeter tells Me I've had 23,467 visitors to this point.

For a blog in existence eight months that is hardly impressive, and in the great blogging scheme of things I am, as the song goes "A-1 on the Jukebox But Nowhere on the Charts."

But that's fine. I never went into this to be a star. I write what I like, some people respond to it. It works for Me.

But one does have to have some readers, else having a blog doesn't make a whole bunch of sense. And of course, getting readers is largely the result of being linked to. And getting linked to is largely a function of linking to others.

Thus, link-whoring.

Starting out, I realized in short order that I needed some damn links . . . in order to hopefully start getting some inbound links.

So I started out, plugging some search terms into Blogger and reading what came up that seemed remotely relevant. Fortunately, since all bloggers understand the importance of link-whoring, most blogs I found had many links . . . well, that tree quickly gets out of hand but out of that process I did find a number of good blogs. So I linked to them.

OK . . . step 1 of the whoring process complete -- "putting out." Now, as is sometimes the case in real whoring, step 2, getting paid, is a lot harder than putting out.

1. The blog you're linked to has to know you've linked to them.
2. The owner of that blog has to then take the affirmative step of linking back to you.

Well, as to Item #1. One could just go into the blog owner's profile, e-mail them all nice and friendly like, and hope for the best. A la:

"Hi . . . just read your blog and I love it! I'm really picky about who I link to but I enjoyed your writing and insights so much that it was a no-brainer! I've linked to you now. Keep up the good work -- I can't wait until your next update!"

Now, note that nowhere in there is there an actual request for a reciprocal link. But, by pointing out that "I'm really picky about who I link to," you make the recipient feel like someone special, and make yourself seem like not an abject link-whore at all. The downside of this approach is that the recipient might actually visit your blog and see that you have 452 links there. But for a first approach it's not too bad -- you might be perceived as an airhead but not as an abject link-whore.

But subtlety is like single-malt Scotch -- wasted on most people. A more direct approach might be called for . . . .

"Hi . . . just read your blog and I really enjoyed it. I don't usually do this, but I've added a link to your blog on my own (http://www.will-suck-cock-for-links.com) . . . I'd appraciate a reciprocal link, since I think we have convergent readerships and a really powerful synergy could develop."

Note the touches here. The lack of !'s immediately lends a more serious air to the message.
"Convergent readerships" and "synergy" really crank up the scholarly quotient; it's obvious to anyone reading that you are truly interested in the intellectual benefits of blogging and most definitely not an abject link-whore.

The other way to let the blog owner know you've read/linked to his or her blog is by leaving a comment. These can vary from the extremely unsubtle to the truly sublime. It's important to be careful here so as not to strike the wrong note. For example:

Bigger Breasts in Three Weeks!
http://www.will-suck-cock-for-links.com

Isn't likely to get a reciprocal link no matter how much the blog owner wants bigger breasts.

This one isn't much better:

Great site! Where can I get the layout for mine?
http://www.will-suck-cock-for-links.com

The important thing about the comment, of course, is getting the reader to look at, and, hopefully, link to you. (Well, ok, forget the readingpart, that's optional -- you want the damn link.) But leaving a comment with no substance but your blog address makes you look like, yes, an abject link whore. And the single most important thing about being an abject link whore is: Not looking like an abject link- whore. So your comment must:

a) Show that you actually read the post in question. Think of it like the reading comprehension section of the SATs. It might be painful but actually stick it out and read the blog post you're going to comment upon.
b) Add something to the discussion. When in doubt, go for a little humor. Doesn't matter if it's funny or not . . . make a little joke, drop your link, and get the hell out.
c) Not contain the phrase: "I am an abject link-whore -- please link to me!"

Carefully applied, you'll get in-links, readers, and general admiration for "doing it the right way," i.e., not coming off like an abject link-whore.