saratoga wrote here on the topic of dominant Males. The post and the comments are worth reading in their entirety. At one point, saratoga writes:
My personal belief is that it's the least secure males who outwardly express themselves as 'dominant' to Females.
Among the commenters was a Gorean Master and well, you can imagine the fur flying, so to speak.
In My experience, there is just no one way about things. I have met many women presenting as Domme who were in fact looking solely to submit. They used a Domme name/persona for protection (from, among others, some of the more aggressive "Doms" out there). I've met many a man presenting as Dom who, likewise, wanted mainly to submit. Rarely would those presenting as submissive be truly Dominant, although obviously many were switches, and others had an idea of "submitting" that, to be kind, needed a lot of work.
But the one constant is that confusion, "deception," etc., are not sex-defined. Are men more prone to a more aggressive approach? More likely to adopt the "best defense is a good offense" style of D/s? Very much so, as saratoga points out. But neither sex has any monopoly on unintentional or intentional deception caused by fear, inexperience, misplaced emotions, narcissism, sociopathy, or confusion. We shouldn't get led astray by the differences in surface manifestations, which are essentially chemical in nature.
We're all in this together . . . a thought at once inspiring and frightening. But fewer arbitrary lines can only help us all.
2 comments:
Lenora-
Thanks for the mention. You really do still read my blog. LOL.
Seriously, your point about arbitrary lines is valid, which is why I included this line in the Mistress V-based post on which you wrote,
Why is it males do this, but virtually no Women do? Granted, a few Females do this, but, on balance, from my experience, far fewer proportionately than males.
It's perhaps telling, is it not, that a so-called Gorean master links to the clearly FemDom blog Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse?
Lenora,
There's a thought you left with me some time ago which has always stuck;
"submissives want to submit"
Recently, I've been thinking about this again, and for something I'm writing as well which will incorporate this thought, but what's curious here, especially in saratoga's post, is the idea of fear itself. Fear of who and what we are and the difficulties in confronting that very thing which makes us essentially who we are.
As always, your thought pique much more in me than you ever realize. Thank you.
xoxo,
nina
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