Tonight's video exemplifies some of the best of what youtube can be: An outlet for creative people, with little or no budget, no connections, with basically a camera and an idea. A way for one's creativity to be seen and appreciated by a wide audience, financial gain or motivation aside.
This is a very clever, cute little video about, well, making pancakes. I have no idea about the song -- I'm assuming that the video's author created the music as well.
My only little quibbles are that what ends up being made in this video I'd call a crepe as opposed to a pancake, and well . . . Nutella? There is something deeply weird and vaguely disturbing about Nutella.
Lonely on the Pedestal?
I was talking last night with iris . . . I wasn't in a good mood. I'd been vaguely sick all weekend, not truly ill, but not quite right either. Last night a couple of things happened that got Me rather annoyed. The details don't matter; but the conversation was somewhat tense.
At a certain point, frustrated, I felt compelled to explain to iris that Me being the Dominant deosn't make Me immune from having to learn, to change, to grow . . . to "move." There are a lot of lessons I'm trying to impart to My girls -- some of them I'm still working on, too.
iris confessed that she never thinks about that aspect of things. To her, I've always got all the answers.
What to make of that? In one sense, iris' perception of Me is exactly what I want it to be -- I strive to always know the right thing to do or say, to really be that, for her and for her sisters.
But there's another side to it of course. I want and need to be seen, felt, loved for the person I really am . . . and love, even in a D/s relationship, means being able to show all of one's self, to be able to have all the highs and lows and in-betweens that we're all subject to.
I am not sure there is a 100% solution. It's more or less impossible to achieve the level of submission that I want from My girls and then have them see Me as . . . well . . . just Me.
I end up feeling it's a necessary tradeoff. My girls can feel who I am, they understand that in a very real sense I am learning much of what I'm teaching them as we move through this incredible journey together. But all that doesn't preclude them from wanting, and needing, to have Me "up there" on that pedestal. And it doesn't preclude Me from wanting to be there.
At a certain point, frustrated, I felt compelled to explain to iris that Me being the Dominant deosn't make Me immune from having to learn, to change, to grow . . . to "move." There are a lot of lessons I'm trying to impart to My girls -- some of them I'm still working on, too.
iris confessed that she never thinks about that aspect of things. To her, I've always got all the answers.
What to make of that? In one sense, iris' perception of Me is exactly what I want it to be -- I strive to always know the right thing to do or say, to really be that, for her and for her sisters.
But there's another side to it of course. I want and need to be seen, felt, loved for the person I really am . . . and love, even in a D/s relationship, means being able to show all of one's self, to be able to have all the highs and lows and in-betweens that we're all subject to.
I am not sure there is a 100% solution. It's more or less impossible to achieve the level of submission that I want from My girls and then have them see Me as . . . well . . . just Me.
I end up feeling it's a necessary tradeoff. My girls can feel who I am, they understand that in a very real sense I am learning much of what I'm teaching them as we move through this incredible journey together. But all that doesn't preclude them from wanting, and needing, to have Me "up there" on that pedestal. And it doesn't preclude Me from wanting to be there.
YouTube Tuesday (ok, one day late): Sexual Harrassment In The Workplace
Family obligations kept Me from meeting My self-imposed schedule last night. So here's youtube Tuesday, Wednesday edition.
A Saturday Night Live skit spoofing 1950s training films and giving a somewhat cyncial slant on the topic of sexual harrassment in the workplace.
Yes, iris . . . that is Tom Brady, but you should still watch this video.
A Saturday Night Live skit spoofing 1950s training films and giving a somewhat cyncial slant on the topic of sexual harrassment in the workplace.
Yes, iris . . . that is Tom Brady, but you should still watch this video.
Random Stuff
1. The link list has been pared down a little, eliminating the dead links, and the blogs not updated in more than 3 months. Also noted a couple of blogs that have ceased new publication.
2. I realized this morning that it's been a while since I did a gratuitous picture post. Well, that state of affairs is easily addressed.
OK . . . who needs medicine?
3. To n . . . thank you so much for the beautiful card. That was a wonderfully thoughtful gesture, and much appreciated. Talk to you soon.
4. A new Lenora X episode is in the works . . . is it just Me, or is "creative" writing draining in a way that "analytical" writing can't approach?
5. More soon. Have a great weekend.
2. I realized this morning that it's been a while since I did a gratuitous picture post. Well, that state of affairs is easily addressed.
OK . . . who needs medicine?3. To n . . . thank you so much for the beautiful card. That was a wonderfully thoughtful gesture, and much appreciated. Talk to you soon.
4. A new Lenora X episode is in the works . . . is it just Me, or is "creative" writing draining in a way that "analytical" writing can't approach?
5. More soon. Have a great weekend.
Perfection and Reassurance
The other night I ended up having essentially the same conversation with both iris and natasha, independent of each other. Tonight, I found a couple of comments on the "Struggle" post, that fit, in a way, with the subject of those parallel conversations. Not surprisingly the subject was an important one.
Perfection. And Reassurace.
I've never met a submissive who at some point didn't think/worry that s/he "wasn't good enough." For some it's a fleeting thought, brought on by the submissive's natural and intense devotion to his or her Owner. For others it's almost a syndrome . . . they're unable to move past the point of feeling "not good enough" and they return to it again and again, trapping themselves in a poisonous thought pattern and depriving the Other of all of themselves.
In talking to My girls on this subject, I set for them a simple definition of perfection.
Perfection is doing the thing you are doing at this moment perfectly. Then doing the next thing perfectly. If the thing being done is too "big" to do perfectly, break it down for yourself into small enough pieces so that each piece can be done perfectly.
I used the image that a submissive "builds" perfection . . . by creating a necklace of tiny perfect stones. When one is totally immersed in finding and placing the current stone, the issue that the necklace is infinite in length loses its debilitating force.
Perfection is not some massive plan with 15,893 steps and sub-steps. It's one thing, done perfectly. Then the next.
I find that this is the only way a submissive can approach the issue of perfection that doesn't lead to feelings of failure and depression. And for the Dominant as well, perfection approached in this way allows the Dominant to see, note, and reward progress without falling into the traps of expecting too much or settling for too little.
So where does reassurance come in?
Commenting on the "Struggle" post, this girl wrote (in part):
"Yet on one hand that (needing reassurance) seems childish, doesn't it? it is something i try to come to understand..."
And Englishman wrote in response:
"Surely this girl is missing a point here? Do not all subs need reassurance, given constantly?"
Again, this girl echoes the feeling I hear from many submissives . . . that needing reassurance is somehow evidence that the submissive is not moving fast enough, not trusting enough, that s/he is somehow missing something fundamental and important.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The endeavor to be a "perfect" submissive, even under My simplified definition, is horrendously difficult. There are going to be times when the submissive simply feels as though it's all too much, or that it's too big: The limitless nature of submission can sometimes come crashing home to a submissive with a force that can make the strongest person doubt if s/he has what it takes.
And this is where the Dominant has to be at His or Her best -- reassuring without coddling, correcting without berating, understanding without condoning -- knowing when to push a little more and when to let her just have a good cry.
Perfection requires not only the submissive to see perfection for what it truly is; it requires a Dominant to understand that as well, and to be able to remind the submissive of that.
Perfection. And Reassurace.
I've never met a submissive who at some point didn't think/worry that s/he "wasn't good enough." For some it's a fleeting thought, brought on by the submissive's natural and intense devotion to his or her Owner. For others it's almost a syndrome . . . they're unable to move past the point of feeling "not good enough" and they return to it again and again, trapping themselves in a poisonous thought pattern and depriving the Other of all of themselves.
In talking to My girls on this subject, I set for them a simple definition of perfection.
Perfection is doing the thing you are doing at this moment perfectly. Then doing the next thing perfectly. If the thing being done is too "big" to do perfectly, break it down for yourself into small enough pieces so that each piece can be done perfectly.
I used the image that a submissive "builds" perfection . . . by creating a necklace of tiny perfect stones. When one is totally immersed in finding and placing the current stone, the issue that the necklace is infinite in length loses its debilitating force.
Perfection is not some massive plan with 15,893 steps and sub-steps. It's one thing, done perfectly. Then the next.
I find that this is the only way a submissive can approach the issue of perfection that doesn't lead to feelings of failure and depression. And for the Dominant as well, perfection approached in this way allows the Dominant to see, note, and reward progress without falling into the traps of expecting too much or settling for too little.
So where does reassurance come in?
Commenting on the "Struggle" post, this girl wrote (in part):
"Yet on one hand that (needing reassurance) seems childish, doesn't it? it is something i try to come to understand..."
And Englishman wrote in response:
"Surely this girl is missing a point here? Do not all subs need reassurance, given constantly?"
Again, this girl echoes the feeling I hear from many submissives . . . that needing reassurance is somehow evidence that the submissive is not moving fast enough, not trusting enough, that s/he is somehow missing something fundamental and important.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The endeavor to be a "perfect" submissive, even under My simplified definition, is horrendously difficult. There are going to be times when the submissive simply feels as though it's all too much, or that it's too big: The limitless nature of submission can sometimes come crashing home to a submissive with a force that can make the strongest person doubt if s/he has what it takes.
And this is where the Dominant has to be at His or Her best -- reassuring without coddling, correcting without berating, understanding without condoning -- knowing when to push a little more and when to let her just have a good cry.
Perfection requires not only the submissive to see perfection for what it truly is; it requires a Dominant to understand that as well, and to be able to remind the submissive of that.
YouTube Tuesday: PaxilBack
Tonight's entry is a brilliant parody of Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back." It's hilarious on one level, and sobering on another.
Struggle
freya recently wrote:
"On my side, wrists bound to ankles in front, I'm bent and he's behind me. Fucking into me with feral intensity. This angle is deep. I can't move and struggling is futile.
Yet I pull against my bonds anway, held fast. Not because I want free but because it's in my nature.
I have gooseflesh even now as I think about the feeling."
This post struck Me, even though I know that freya is not submissive outside the bedroom. It got Me to thinking about the concept, "yet I pull against my bonds anway, held fast. Not because I want free but because it's in my nature."
Many submissives have similar feelings -- the struggle against the force that seeks to be overwhelming, that needs to be overwhelming, is for many a large part of the thrill, the attraction. They want (need) to struggle, yet seek to ultimately "fail" in that struggle.
This hits on a very deep thing for Me. Because what I seek, is ultimately the end of struggling.
My power, My authority, seek to be total, final. I need them to be. For Me, there is no eroticism in the struggle. The question, as I see it, has been decided. For the other to struggle against empirical truth is debiliating for her and frustrating for Me.
But there is a deeper point here as well. It is only when the struggle ceases that the real learning can begin. The lessons I seek to impart can't be heard and absorbed over the noise of lingering struggle.
It's a difficult, narrow way to proceed. And there are hazards. I am blessed in that My girls embrace and udnerstand all this . . . and their embracing of it allows Me to not only dominate the way I must, but also to love them -- completely, unreservedly. The way I have to. There are no questions on either side of that equation.
"On my side, wrists bound to ankles in front, I'm bent and he's behind me. Fucking into me with feral intensity. This angle is deep. I can't move and struggling is futile.
Yet I pull against my bonds anway, held fast. Not because I want free but because it's in my nature.
I have gooseflesh even now as I think about the feeling."
This post struck Me, even though I know that freya is not submissive outside the bedroom. It got Me to thinking about the concept, "yet I pull against my bonds anway, held fast. Not because I want free but because it's in my nature."
Many submissives have similar feelings -- the struggle against the force that seeks to be overwhelming, that needs to be overwhelming, is for many a large part of the thrill, the attraction. They want (need) to struggle, yet seek to ultimately "fail" in that struggle.
This hits on a very deep thing for Me. Because what I seek, is ultimately the end of struggling.
My power, My authority, seek to be total, final. I need them to be. For Me, there is no eroticism in the struggle. The question, as I see it, has been decided. For the other to struggle against empirical truth is debiliating for her and frustrating for Me.
But there is a deeper point here as well. It is only when the struggle ceases that the real learning can begin. The lessons I seek to impart can't be heard and absorbed over the noise of lingering struggle.
It's a difficult, narrow way to proceed. And there are hazards. I am blessed in that My girls embrace and udnerstand all this . . . and their embracing of it allows Me to not only dominate the way I must, but also to love them -- completely, unreservedly. The way I have to. There are no questions on either side of that equation.
One Post at a Time
One of the little frustrations of blogging is that it's single-threaded. Meaning one can only write about one thing at a time. While that's good for the resulting posts (it helps when posts actually make sense and move from point A to point B) and good for the readers, it doesn't reflect the fact that at any given time, most of the stuff I've ever written about is going on in Me. (Full disclosure: OK, I am not actually a private detective.)
So by the nature of blogging, certain things get left behind, because once one' s words roll off the front page they more or less never existed. Until you write about them again. While I'm aware of and not entirely unhappy with the tradeoff of persistence for immediacy, it doesn't give a totally accurate picture.
Case in point. I did a long series of posts on the spritual side of things, then a few more posts at intervals following those. It occurred to Me how long it's been since I addressed that topic, and the inconvenience/inaccuracy of "single-threading" made its presence felt, strongly.
But of course I can't leave well enough alone. I start to think about whether this is a common phenomenon, the frustration of knowing that what one writes about today is just one little part of the big picture, and that most parts of that picture are "lost" in the archives, or somehow not able to be addressed. I can't come to any reliable answer about that without doing massive one on one research. So . . .
From there, I start to theorize that blogs, rather than just being the expression of the effect, might actually be an element of the cause. Because thinking, writing, editing, editing some more, thinking, writing, editing more then finally pushing it out to the world for immediate digestoin and feedback isn't exactly a normal or natural way to approach thinking about one's life and the issues that affect it. So is it possible that blogs actually create a new way of thinking in us? An inherently different approach to finding our place in the world and coming to terms with that place?
Blogging about blogging. I have wandered into a Fellini film, I think. But like any good character trapped by that fourth wall I'll carry on. More on this another time.
So by the nature of blogging, certain things get left behind, because once one' s words roll off the front page they more or less never existed. Until you write about them again. While I'm aware of and not entirely unhappy with the tradeoff of persistence for immediacy, it doesn't give a totally accurate picture.
Case in point. I did a long series of posts on the spritual side of things, then a few more posts at intervals following those. It occurred to Me how long it's been since I addressed that topic, and the inconvenience/inaccuracy of "single-threading" made its presence felt, strongly.
But of course I can't leave well enough alone. I start to think about whether this is a common phenomenon, the frustration of knowing that what one writes about today is just one little part of the big picture, and that most parts of that picture are "lost" in the archives, or somehow not able to be addressed. I can't come to any reliable answer about that without doing massive one on one research. So . . .
From there, I start to theorize that blogs, rather than just being the expression of the effect, might actually be an element of the cause. Because thinking, writing, editing, editing some more, thinking, writing, editing more then finally pushing it out to the world for immediate digestoin and feedback isn't exactly a normal or natural way to approach thinking about one's life and the issues that affect it. So is it possible that blogs actually create a new way of thinking in us? An inherently different approach to finding our place in the world and coming to terms with that place?
Blogging about blogging. I have wandered into a Fellini film, I think. But like any good character trapped by that fourth wall I'll carry on. More on this another time.
YouTube Tuesday: Life Begins at the Hop; it ends . . . ?
Well, the inevitable happened. YouTube is to be acquired by Google for $1.65 billion. What this means for youtube is difficult to know right now, but from what I've read, Google intends to meet the copyright issue head on, by means of making deals with rights holders where it makes financial sense and aggressively keeping the other stuff off of the service. Meaning that you will most likely be paying in many cases for what's free now. Add to that the massive increase in advertising that is sure to happen and well, I'm not sure that the resulting youtube is going to be nearly as much fun as the one we currently enjoy.
I don't know what this means for youtube Tuesday (and I know you're all on pins and needles here) . . . I've no interest in "Google Video Tuesday" . . . we'll see what happens. As long as I can keep finding stuff that appeals to Me out there for free and with a minimum of hassle, I'll keep YTT going. If some upstart picks up youtube's mantle and keeps it fun and free with the same uninhibited attitude about copyright, perhaps YTT becomes presenations from whatever that new service is, if and when that happens.
But I do have to enjoy all this copyrighted stuff while I still can. So tonight, a video of one of My favorite songs ever -- "Life Begins At The Hop" by XTC. The video is cheesy and silly in a way that only a group of gifted but overly clever lads in the late 1970s could pull off. But the song is so uplifting and mood-brightening for Me I was thrilled to find the video out there and happy to post it here.
I don't know what this means for youtube Tuesday (and I know you're all on pins and needles here) . . . I've no interest in "Google Video Tuesday" . . . we'll see what happens. As long as I can keep finding stuff that appeals to Me out there for free and with a minimum of hassle, I'll keep YTT going. If some upstart picks up youtube's mantle and keeps it fun and free with the same uninhibited attitude about copyright, perhaps YTT becomes presenations from whatever that new service is, if and when that happens.
But I do have to enjoy all this copyrighted stuff while I still can. So tonight, a video of one of My favorite songs ever -- "Life Begins At The Hop" by XTC. The video is cheesy and silly in a way that only a group of gifted but overly clever lads in the late 1970s could pull off. But the song is so uplifting and mood-brightening for Me I was thrilled to find the video out there and happy to post it here.
YouTube Tuesday: Watching the Detectives
This week's clip is apropos -- Elvis Costello performing his classic "Watching the Detectives" from a 1977 episode of Saturday Night Live. Costello's homage to film noir is entrancing, from the halting rhythms to the razor-sharp lyrics. This song is one of the inspirations for the "Lenora X" character.
I'm not totally thrilled with this version . . . the audio is not great, and Costello has the tempo jerked up a bit, throwing the song off a bit in My mind. The bass player overdoes the flourishes to the extent that it's distracting, and the keyboards came out sounding like a bad accordion.
But the alternatives on youtube were a much later version, where an older, bloated Costello hardly seems interested in one of his best songs ever, and a much better, older version from Top of the Pops, but that one's abbreviated, the dancing British teens around the stage are annoying and the video quality is poor.
But ultimately, any version of "Watching the Detectives" is a good one.
I'm not totally thrilled with this version . . . the audio is not great, and Costello has the tempo jerked up a bit, throwing the song off a bit in My mind. The bass player overdoes the flourishes to the extent that it's distracting, and the keyboards came out sounding like a bad accordion.
But the alternatives on youtube were a much later version, where an older, bloated Costello hardly seems interested in one of his best songs ever, and a much better, older version from Top of the Pops, but that one's abbreviated, the dancing British teens around the stage are annoying and the video quality is poor.
But ultimately, any version of "Watching the Detectives" is a good one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)