Feeling Better/The Limits of Power

The work week has ground to its merciful conclusion, that cold, thankfully, seems to have been short-lived. I had a wonderful night last night -- storm and I celebrated our 2-year anniversary, iris is home from her trip. Life is good.

Was reading this girl's most recent entry. she talks about receiving some very disturbing news and feeling despondent and shell-shocked. Then, she talked with her Master, and it helped,a great deal. To quote her:

"Didn't change my circumstances, but He helped to build up my morale and my emotions to tackle what lies before me."

There is a great lesson in there for Dominants, one easily overlooked.

Our power over those We own can at times seem limitless. When the submissive pours it all out, when s/he reaches down and gives Us everything that is in there and lays it at Our feet, it's difficult not to get caught up in how incredibly good and powerful that feels. And it should. Heck, it's a big part of what we're all in this for-- that electric, magical connection, that indescribable current that flows between Owner and owned at certain times and fills every corner of U/us with the glow of pure pleasure and contentment.

But as with all wonderful experiences (Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie comes to mind), there is a [ptential price to be paid. The same thing that makes Us feel so powerful and wonderful and wise can obscure Our rational sense of limits. Unchecked that leads to the Dom/me becoming little more than an egomanical control-freak. And egomanical control freaks inspire a lot of emotions; unfortunately love and submission are not among them.

The less extreme example is where the Dom/me temporariloy loses sight of the fact that Our impact, even on those we love, or own, is often limited. There are certain things in life that We can't change, or change for another. And that is a painful realization to come to grips with.

But, like this girl's Master, what We can do, is "help[ed] to build up my morale and my emotions to tackle what lies before me." We can change how the submissive views the situation. We can help him or her to look at things in a different way that doesn't seem so horrible. Even if the change in outlook/spirits on the submissive's part is temporary, it's valuable, because it not only suggests the possiblity of another way, but also reinforces the empathy and care that Owner shows for owned. And that value of the latter can hardly be measured.

Thus the limits of power, while difficult to always remember, and sometimes humbling to experience, are in the end something to be celebrated. Becasue when One does bear them in mind, and still is able to help the other, in an important way, One feels One's own power, real, effective, loving, caring, power, even more acutely. And that kind of power is the essence of true Dominance, to Me.