Discouragement

I talk to a lot of submissives (aside from My own). Tonight, was talking to a sub girl I know well, and the subject of feeling discouraged came up. Discouraged because, well . . . there was an opportunity recently for her to make a potentially significant move deeper into her submission, and, for a number of reasons she dind't sieze that opportunity, and in fact, didn't even see the opportunity at the time.

My argument to her on this point is summed up in the following snipet of the conversation: (as always, the other person's name has been changed)

Lenora: see, this is the thing
Lenora: it was an oportunity to do so
Lenora: but that you didn't [sieze it] isn't a good or bad thing.
Lenora: this is vitally important to understand.
enchantress: it really does not feel that way Ma'am..
Lenora: it feels like a bad thing
enchantress: of course, Ma'am
Lenora: see? . . . "of course" ... there's NO "of course" . . . these things are time-independent.
Lenora: I'm sure I've mentioned to you that I say the same things to My girls, over and over and over? . . . that I keep returning to the same themes, the same lessons?
enchantress: yes, Ma'am
Lenora: the reason I do that is becasue I KNOW that each of us takes our opportunity when the time is right. there is no good or bad in that.
Lenora: there is no value judgement in that statement . . . it's simply a fact of human nature.

This is one of those "simple" things about submission that people routinely, alsmot automatically, lose sight of. It's not a race to some finish line. I certainly can understand a sub's eagerness and desire and devotion to be all she can be, and fast, and her disappointment when that doesn't happen. But disappointment and discouragement warp the spirit, over time. Being a good submissive is, in large measure, not only feeling that "fire" inside, but being able to balance that fire with a calm, clear, measured, approach.

So very simple . . . but so hard to do -- to remember that "progress" is almost always a series of almost imperceptibly small steps, strung together, as opposed to a big leap. Not sexy, not satisfying in the short term, but infinitely better over the long haul. The Good Dominant keeps the submisisve on track by reminding her of this fact, and showing her, from time to time, a glimpse of how far she actually has come, even when she thinks she's been standing still all this time.