Popping in on the non-spiritual: What kind of submission?

saratoga's most recent post ends with the following questions:

"Does it matter to a Domina which type of submission She has been offered? Does the type of submission change the nature of Her Dominance?"

I hate to say it but the answer of course is "yes and no."

I've written before about how love is either a complicating factor (the "older" type of theory of D/s) or a necessary ingredient to a truly deep and fulfilling D.s relationship (My theory of D/s, and others').

The "love thing" or lack thereof largely determines the answers to saratoga's questions. When One is in love with the submissive One is more likely to take the longer-term view. Consider two different situations: One in which a Dom/me has a sub that He or She plays with on a regular basis, but where there is no emotional attachment in either direction. The other in which a Dom/me and a sub are involved in a committed, emotionally-attached relationship.

In the first situation the Dominant is going to be less likely to accept aspects of submission that are "around the margins," i. e., things that S/he is not necessarily really greared towards receiving from a submissive. Additionally, the first situation is more likely to run afoul of the natural ebb and flow of life, e. g., fluctuating sex drives, biological imperatives, periods of ill health, etc. In that situation the Dom/me and sub are more likely to be geared to a "100%" experience, given that the interaction is perforce limited in scope and limited by time. This is a major reason why these regular "hook-up" type D/s situations often fizzle out over time -- mismatched expectations and wildly varying results.

In the second situation, the Dom/me has (another one of My pet themes) the luxury of time. The little stupid things that happen in life take on less importance in the D./s scheme of things, because there is always four hours from now, there is tomorrow, there is next week, etc. Both parties knowing this creates a different mindset.

And having time and love means that the Dom/me has the opportunity to "weed out" the aspects of submission that are non-conforming with what S/He wants. The long-term view allows the Dom/me to "accept" in the short term certain things that S/He intends to alter/eradicate as time goes on.

Of course few of us, in either role, are totally "plastic." That is, we can change to a certain degree. Often that's a huge change, but at a certain point most will run up against a hard limit, and I don't mean a given activity. A hard limit in the sense that one changes and changes but certain things simply will always be there. Especially when those things are chemical, like sex drive. A submissive might be able to address his or her sex drive to a great extent, to re-channel it into the satisfaction gained from serving and pleasing, etc. Up to that point where there is a chemical imperative, and then, well, something's gotta give. Just as in vanilla relationships, in D/s mismatched people often fall in love with each other. It's made more difficult when one party by definition has less power (real or perceived) to alter his or her situation.

So, back to saratoga's questions: "Does it matter to a Domina which type of submission She has been offered? Does the type of submission change the nature of Her Dominance?"

It always matters. What She does with it, or doesn't, depends on a whole laundry list of variables.