The female submissive, Part I

I received the following comment on Friday night's entry, from anonymous:

It has been stated that women better understand women than do men. Given this to be true, is there a chance that you will divulge your views on how best to keep female slaves? Others might learn.

Appetizers:

1. It's a huge topic, of course. So, since I can't sit down and write War and Peace (nor would I subject readers to it all in one piece), this is Part I.

2. I want to think that it's not that much different. Submission should be a genderless thing. But that's a highly idealized view that disregards important realities.

3. A certain amount of generalization is inevtiable in what follows. The ineherent inaccuracies of that to specific situations/people are a given. I do firmly believe that there is no "Bible," per se. My "book" is My own. It works for Me . . . as the advertising disclaimer goes, your results may vary.

Main course:

1. Certain things are truly universal, regardless of the sex of the submissive. In My experience, the most important thing, by far is seemingly the simplest: Time. The attention, the presence of another person is most valuable currency there is. It can't be forced, it can't be bought, it can't be faked. You are either there, or You're not. Yogi Berra is reported to have once said: "90% of success is just showing up." Truer words were never spoken. Being there, regardless of the specific activities or lack thereof taking place, is overridingly important.

2. I've heard it said: "The only thing worse than being treated like a sex object is NOT being treated like a sex object." A woman's sense of self is highly tied up, often, in how desireable or undesireable she feels. What makes it complicated for the Dominant of either Gender is that, often maddeningly, that perception on the girl's part of how desireable she feels changes often . . . sometimes hourly LOL. The good Dominant is aware of this and is able to often diffuse a potential major meltdown with a simple word, or gesture, or look, that conveys to the slave just how much she is desired. (Of course, tossing her down and fucking her brains out works well, too.)

3. I touched on the following simple maxim in a previous post: subs want to submit. It's very simple, but often Dominants lose sight of that fact. Female submissives, especially, often, for various reasons, are loath to ask for what they want/need. While One should encourage the submissive to voice those desires (NOT becasue You are necesarily going to fulfill them, but to make the girl understand that being owned means that everything is owned -- her desires included), often the best way to proceed is to simply DO WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE DOING.
(Within the normal bounds of safe, sane, legal, limits as applicable, etc.)

4. I hate to drag out the old saw, but truly communcation is the basis of everything. Communication builds trust, strenghtens the bond, and, for the female submissive, fills that extra need there is for her to know that her feelings are being listened to. This sort of goes hand in hand with 3, above. If the girl feels that You are hearing her . . . what You want is much more likely to become what she wants.

More on this topic another time.