The Love Thing (An Introduction)

I've read a number of essays that put forth the idea that love complicates/interferes with a successful D/s relationship. I am guessing that this idea comes from the "Old Guard," classical style of D/s.

As such, I don't dismiss that concept, but I have figured out, in no uncertain terms, that it does not and can not work for Me.

The only way I can really Dominate, the only way I can own, is with love. I can scene with various and sundry, and be very good at it, with no particular emotional connection going in, but, for the "real" thing . . . the kind of Ownership I want with My girls, for the goals that I have in mind, I must not only love them, but be in love with them.

Again, I stress that this is My way . . . I have no doubt that for some people, love really IS anthithetcial to D/s the way they want to practice it.

But for Me . . . especially for the spiritual aspects of what I want to impart to My girls, the places I want to take them (or more accurately, convince them they are capable of going), love is essential. It underpins everything that I am with and to them. It allows Me to pour all of Myself into owning them.

I say to them, often, "all of you is for all of Me." But, in a very real way, all of Me is for all of them. It is becasue I love them so deeply that I am able to maintain (heopfully) the level of intense focus, of committment, that what I seek requires.

Loving them does not preclude Me from being able to correct them, or to punish them in the (very rare) instances that it's necessary. On the contrary, it makes it, in My view, easier, because correction, or punishment, is always informed by My love for them -- it helps ensure that I am not punishing in anger or over something trivial. And it makes it easier for them to accept and understand what has happened and why. Loving them shows them that even when My authority seems arbitrary, there is the fact of My love to fall back on, to help them understand that what is not necessarily clear in the moment is a component of something more encompassing.

Love is not antithetical to discipline, to respect. It is, for Me, a necessary ingredient. It is the bedrock of those things, regardless of which might have come first by the accident of time and experience. It is what makes Me capable of being what I am to them, and what makes them capable of being Mine, which, I have no illusions, is not always easy.

Happy Valentine's Day, sweet girls of Mine . . . I love you, so incredibly much.