More About "Time"

I got a couple of comments on the "Time" entry, and they fit with the additonal things I wanted to talk about regarding that.

Englishman wrote: Regarding time, and considering method, might you be kind enough to give us chapter and verse?

I will, but it will be a here and there kind of apparoach. But I was reminded of one important aspect/effect of the concept, by the following.

rivka wrote: Not easy or natural is definitely the definition. I feel so bad because Rico is having such a rough time with me... the things that have been programmed and drilled into my head and heart for so long are now meaningless. Yet the remnants from those things still induces impulses and instinctive actions that I *must* change.

I understand the sentiment, but one aspect where I use time is to reinforce the concept with My girls that it's not a race. There is no "finish" line.

That statement requires an important disclaimer: I'm not talking about My being complacent, or about Me condoning the submissive messing up elemantary concepts long past the point where she should have them down.

I am talking about understanding that, in the final analysis we are all pretty much where we should be at the given moment we are there.

Of course, this leads to some obvious questions: Does that mean that Dom/me shouldn't push the submissive? Does it mean that the Dom/me should just be satisfied whith whatever the submissive does?

The answer of course is "no." And this where the whole concept of "lots of time" comes in.
What I try to do, all the time, is "push with patience." I am pushing My girls, all the time. Where the patience comes in is in understanding that results are a long-term thing. So, I strive to not get too excited or too upset as a result of individual moments/activitites. I measure progress by stopping and looking back, every so often, to see the progress they've made over time. And when I do that I'm pleased by what I see.

It's very easy to confuse intensity with haste. The submissive, feeling that fire raging inside, wants desperately to be it all, do it all, to be perfect, NOW. The Dominant, feeling that from him or her, can get caught up in that (along with His or Her natural demanding nature). But rushing, in all things, rarely leads to the best result. As cliched as it sounds, the journey of a thousmand miles starts with a single step . . . the reality is that certain things are simply going to take a long time. Certain lessons are going to have be heard many many times. Each time, hopefully, both Dominant and submissive understand a little bit more of the bigger picture. It is an iterative process.

I liken it to putting together a complicated jigsaw puzzle That takes not only massive intense effort but also an abiding patience. The patience of the Dominant lies in understanding that the submissive is attempting to put together the puzzle without having access to the picture showing the completed puzzle. The patience of the submissive lies in realizing that the Dominant might have access to the picture of the completed puzzle, but will still end up having to try a lot of different pieces in the same spot before the fit is found.

And both must realize that they need to act with purpose but not in haste, and to trust that where T/they are is where T/they should be.