How Difficult It Is

A conversation last night reminded Me how difficult it is to be submissive.

I was talking to a girl (not one of Mine), and she mentioned that a Dom she talks to sometimes had complimented her, rather lavishly. she said that she was uncomfortable with compliments, often.

So, in My usual fashion, I dug a little deeper on that . . . and the girl reveals this:

"i guess i feel like i can accept the compliment, if i think it's justified." Or words to that effect.

Well, there's the eye-opener. Ch-ching!

I didn't pursue My "revelation" with her, for reasons of logisitics not having anything to do with her or the conversation.

But consider the underlying thought process of her statement above. In effect, a compliment's only real if the receiver thinks it's deserved.

As they say in France: au contraire, slut.

Here's the thing: At a certain point, being submissive not only means submitting one's will, one's power, etc., to varying degrees, but, as one moves, deepens, in one's submission, there is the point where one realizes that one must also submit to the assessments of Others. And, amazingly enough, that means the positive stuff, too.

Now, obviously, submitting to the assessment's of one's Owner, is a typcial, ongoing thing, that all owned submissives are more or less used to (even if they are not thrilled about it all the time). But if there are Others in one's life that one respects, one has to try to move to a point where one is able to let go of the impulse to "examine" those assessments for validity. Complimentary ones included.

I realize what I am saying. In its most radical form, I am saying that the submissive doesn't get to determine which compliments she should feel good about. And, well, assuming that the compliment doesn't come from a total stranger, a person known to have ulterior motives, or a drunk, that's what I'm saying. It is . . . a very advanced thing along the path . . . it's certainly not "submission 101."

It's not easy.