The Love Thing, Part 2

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how, for Me, love is an essential ingredient in D/s.

But I do acknowlege that in D/s, love can really complicate things.

1. Sometimes, the people we love just piss us off. This is unavoidable. In a vanilla relationship, it's a difficult enough fact to contend with. In a D/s relationship, there's the added complication of the fact that the two parties necessarily have unequal power.

For the Dominant, there is the responsibility to stop and think and not let one's pissed-off state cause Him or Her to act irresponsibly, to abuse His or Her power.

For the submissive, it's even more complicated, becasue the submissive may have trouble even acknowledging being pissed off, because there may be the thought that he or she isn't somehow entitled to feel that towards the Mistress/Master. And, more commonly, the submissive will often have a huge frustration in feeling that he or she can't adequately express how pissed off he or she is becasue it's so difficult to do that within the bounds of what is typically considered appropriate respect.

And, as much as I write about being calm and taking everything in stride . . . don't get Me wrong: Being pissed off has its place. While I always hope that My girls respond to My overall gentle, Zen-like ways, there are times when I need to be able to let them know, without punishing them per se, that I am not happy with the level of effort being shown. When you love someone, it's inherently more difficult to do that.

2. It is often much more difficult to teach someone that One is in love with. Or sometimes, to learn from Someone that one might is in love with. Every girl who's ever daydreamed through a class taught by a teacher they had a mad crush on knows what I mean.

It's equally difficult to be the teacher in that situation. Thankfully we're all adults here. LOL.

3. When You love someone, it can be really hard to "push" them. This is where One needs to be very strong . . . becasue it's so easy to simply pick up on the submissive's uncomfortability and let things slide. The flip side, of course, if that when You love someone, you're more attuned to when You shouldn't be pushing. But, overall, love isn't at times terribly compatible with dispensing the bad-tasting medicine.

So, I do understand those whose theory of D/s holds that love doesn't belong . . . it does complicate things, sometimes massively. If One's goal is to train, and simply to train, then I might go as far to say that love really has no place there. But for Me, for what I want to achieve, for where I want/need to take Mine . . . the plusses of love far outweigh the minuses.